How many times have you been through this dilemma? The one of not knowing what you want, but knowing well that it is not what you are living. Many times this happens because we lack a deep and thoughtful analysis of what our preferences are. When you decide to buy a material good, such as a car or a music player, you will surely find out what benefits it has, compare it with others, ask yourself which one has more to do with you, which one you like the most, which will fit more with your lifestyle. This may come naturally to you, since you have been used to buying goods since you were a child and they gave you a choice of what color you wanted your clothes. But when it comes to a step in your professional career, not only are you not used to it but you can feel totally overwhelmed just thinking about the variables you have to contemplate to take a different path.I propose you to use a scheme that will be useful for any area of your life. What's more, I recommend that as a first exercise you think about it in a general way.
The first thing you have to do is an evaluation of what you have today.
Think about your life, your career, your relationships, your health, all areas of your life and ask yourself the following question: Of the life you have today, what do you want to maintain? perhaps your good relationship with your coworkers, the work environment, the possibility of forming lasting bonds. Perhaps the recognition of your peers or your boss, or the possibility of growth of your company. Family weekends, or the good relationship you have with your partner. What is it you want to keep?
Make a list to the left of the sheet with everything you have answered. Most things in life have two sides of a coin, so in your current state you probably have things you want to keep and there are surely others you don't like. It is important to know them. There is no use hiding them under the carpet. On the contrary. You have to be very clear about them and know your tastes and preferences in each key aspect of your life. For what? Simple, to be able to change it. So ask yourself the next question:
What would you like to eliminate from your life today?: You probably are not comfortable with the current work rate, or the lack of communication with a couple. One of my clients was not comfortable with her level of security and confidence in certain tasks assigned to her and that is why she wanted to remove this feeling from her current situation. Another client was not satisfied with the way unforeseen events were handled in his company. And this was what I wanted to eliminate. What is it you want to remove? It does not matter if it is unlikely that it will be removed or if it is not up to you. Then you can come up with a plan where you can lessen it or cushion its impact. But the main thing is to discover what it is that you have in your life today and you do not want more. Complete this list to the right of the previous one.
Now that you have reflected on your current life, it is time for you to campaign to analyze your ideal life. Also make two lists. The first on the left and the second on the right.
Of the life that you would like to have, what would you like to achieve? : One of my clients was very precise in this section: she wanted more flexibility in time and not having to deal with traffic on her commute to the office every day. Another of my clients wanted to achieve greater independence and enjoy her family and her personal time. Another client wanted to feel more confident and secure in her projects, and at the same time more recognized by the company in which she had chosen to pursue a career. It doesn't matter if today you don't know how to achieve it, what would you like to achieve?
And the last golden rule is related to what you might have on your way to achieving your goals, but you really don't want it to happen to you:
Of the life that you would like to have, what would you like to avoid?: One of my clients wanted at all costs to avoid feeling insecure about the decisions he was making. Perhaps working in an unfamiliar area or feeling judged by the path you chose to travel could be something you would like to avoid as you move toward your goals. Another of my clients did not want (or wanted to avoid) forgetting the reason why he was making a career change, en route to that change (he did not want to forget that his main motivator was to later get recognition from his peers, although at first it was difficult for him to do so) Another leader I worked with had been surprised when we worked in this section and realized that he did not want to create conflicts in his family due to the change in dedication he was making in his career. What is it you want to avoid?
All this individual reflection that you can make of your current situation and thinking about your hypothetical future situation, will give you a good idea of what are the aspects that you should not neglect, when you are thinking about achieving your goals and when you decide which course to choose. On that path, decisions will always appear that will present you with a fork with at least two new paths to travel. Having all this information will greatly facilitate the selection process.
These are the 4 golden rules to discover what you want instead of what you have. Once you are clear about the scenario you want to live with, it is much easier to be able to put together an action plan and get moving towards that desired future. What is the first step you will take today towards that desired future?
