Have you ever wondered why you cannot succeed in what you set out to do? Whether we talk about professional success (which is what most associate with the word "success"), or if we refer to other areas, sometimes it seems impossible, right?
One of the most frequent reasons that you don't succeed is the fear of failure, which makes you not even try; But if we investigate a little more there are two other hidden reasons: 1) that you do not think you deserve it (I wrote an article on this topic a long time ago), and 2) that you are afraid, but not of failure, no, but of success.
It may seem absurd to be afraid of success, if that's what you really want, right? But there is nothing absurd, in fact, these are the main reasons that, deep down, you are afraid of success:
1. You believe that if you are successful you will not have a partner, you will not attract anyone. You associate successful women with selfish harpies and alone.
2. You think that being successful will affect your family (and not for good), that is if you get to have a family, because you have the idea that successful women either don't have children or spend the day enslaved and don't have time to see them.
3. You assume that being successful means having money, and that as soon as you have more money you will become a heartless harpy, because we already "know" that people with money are selfish and bad.
4. You think that if you are successful and talk about your achievements, people will reject you. They will think that you are arrogant and they will not have anything to do with you. Result: you will be left alone.
5. You are convinced that to win and succeed someone has to lose, and you like helping others, you don't want to trample on anyone, which is what you think you are going to have to do.
After reading this, do you wonder that you don't want to be successful? With these beliefs it is not that you cannot, it is that you almost prefer to go to live under a bridge. But let's be realistic, this is what I suggest:
• Define what it is to be successful for you and based on that you can decide what to do next. Because maybe the thing that scares you the most corresponds to a definition of success that is not yours.
• Identify your priorities. If you are clear about what really matters to you, it will be easier for you to take steps so that those priorities are not affected much. Get rid of the image of the successful woman without children, if you want to have children make it your priority and modify what you need to get it. You will not regret it because it is your priority. If instead you prefer to focus on your career, do whatever it takes to get what you want. But, please, be very clear about your priorities, so that the years do not pass and you realize that you have spent your time and energy on things that, in reality, did not matter to you.
• Some people will reject you when you succeed. Some people will reject you if you don't succeed. Some people will reject you. Those people don't matter to you, they aren't worth it. Focus on the ones that will be there.
• Healthy competition does not mean trampling on anyone. To get where you want there will be times when other people will be involved and you will have to compete. What is the problem? That you associate competing with trampling and humiliating the other. There are people who do it, you don't have to do it. Many people have gotten to where they are thanks to their work and their own merits, without having to trample or cheat. That can be you, being successful does NOT mean being a bad person.
• Eliminate the belief that money is the root of all ills. Money makes you more than you are. If you are bad, you will become worse. If you are generous and you like to give, with more money you will give more. That you like to live in comfort, you will live with more comforts; that you like to donate money to NGOs, you will donate more money. Point.
What beliefs are you going to choose from now on? I suggest you forget the first part and focus on the second part, you will notice the difference.
