One of the topics that my readers sometimes talk to me about is how to combine the personal and professional when you work with your partner or with another member of your family. This situation can become quite complicated if things are not made clear from the beginning. I personally prefer to separate family and friends from professional topics to avoid possible problems, but it is also true that for many years I worked closely with my husband without any problem (and in fact I miss him).
If you want or have to work with a family member (or with more than one), it is advisable to make clear in advance how things are going to work, to put a series of basic rules to avoid breaking the coexistence or something else. The ideal if you find yourself in these circumstances is:
1. Separate the personal from the professional. Unfortunately, not everyone is capable of doing this, but ideally, you should be able to differentiate between your role as a co-worker or supervisor and your role as sister, partner, mother, or whatever. That work stays at work and behind closed doors the family relationship returns. So if you have a professional discussion with your family member, try not to take it to the personal field and think that it is a problem with your partner, not with your sister, for example. You wouldn't say to a colleague "I don't know why I trust you if you broke my toys when I was little", for example. As angry as you are, the personal at home and always, always, with respect and being pleasant. It is not easy, no, but you have to start doing it.
2. Set clear rules. This is always essential, but in this case more because what is at stake is especially important. Some work rules, obligations and duties; that you have clear what corresponds to each one professionally. In this way, many misunderstandings can be avoided.
3. Improve communication. It is also essential in all areas and I wish it existed in all jobs, but again, in this case there is a lot at stake and it is essential that you can communicate clearly. Instead of keeping things quiet, accumulating resentment and when you can't take it anymore, letting go of everything by mouth and getting personally; Get used to saying what you want, what you think is right or wrong, and fixing problems as they arise.
4. Work your assertiveness. Although it is your family member, it is still a person and it may even be difficult, so keep working on your assertiveness. The ability to say no without feeling guilty, to set and respect limits and schedules, to express your opinion without being aggressive or blaming anyone and, if necessary, read and learn how to deal with difficult people. The same thing you would do with another coworker you can apply here.
5. Take care of the relationship. Not everything is work in this life and you also have to take care of relationships outside of it, especially if we talk about your partner. If you work at home, delimit a specific area to work; set working hours and outside of them try not to talk about work (or as little as possible). Do fun things together. Because if you are not able to disconnect from work and do not take care of the relationship, monotony, stress and boredom will invade you and you will encounter problems inside and outside of work.
Working with family or friends can be a lot of fun, but also complicated because it is easy to transfer frustration and anger to the personal. Ideally, be able to quit your job at work, like taking off a costume. It is difficult but not impossible, start practicing as soon as possible and set limits. How are you doing?
