Triumph and defeat are Siamese brothers who can only be explained in their intimate coexistence. Therefore, the " fear of losing " can also be understood as the "fear of winning", because everyone who wants to achieve victory implicitly recognizes the existence and probability of defeat; and if it is put into action it is basically a product of his love for victory that is greater than his fear of defeat.
Among the most important reasons for tribulation people have is the powerful "fear of losing". This is a recurring factor as a cause of paralysis to face both the opportunities and the adversities that life presents. There are not a few people who have a limited and mediocre existence only because of the fear that represents them doing anything that involves the risk of losing something.
These beings resort to a mistaken sense of security and take refuge in inaction and in such a conservative sense of life that they even threaten the natural dynamics of things. And of course nothing positive emerges from facing the nature of things: because life is essentially dynamic change, transformation, struggle. It is absurd to understand that things can be otherwise because of our fears. Fear, in fact, when it constitutes a permanent host of our character, originates an endless spiral of anxiety, absence of peace and failure.
In a good part of the cases the fear of losing is the product of a weak spirit. The spiritual dimension of man is manifested fundamentally through Faith and this is precisely the one that is absent among those who profess a sharp fear of losing. Faith transmits security in the future.
In other cases the fear of losing is the product of a weak soul. In the soul the platform of emotions and rationality of man takes refuge, from there emerges desire, courage, confidence, security, sufficiency and even pride itself; all of them constitute injured elements in those people who are paralyzed by the effect of fear.
And finally there is another factor that also explains the phenomenon, one that probably has more dramatic edges: the fear of losing manifests itself among those who do not want to win.
We can assume that people who are "afraid of losing" are actually people who want to win like anyone else; that is, "it is not that I do not want to win, only that I am afraid of losing"; however this deduction is not appropriate because in life only he who has lost wins and only he who wants to win loses. This is the basic dynamic. Triumph and defeat are Siamese brothers who can only be explained in their intimate coexistence. Therefore, the "fear of losing" can also be understood as the "fear of winning", because everyone who wants to achieve victory implicitly recognizes the existence and probability of defeat; and if it is put into action it is basically a product of his love for victory that is greater than his fear of defeat.
When the interpretation of "fear of losing" reaches the sphere of the desire to win, it becomes a complex problem for man and for the society of which he is a part, because this type of person builds and produces little, limits his competitive capacity and can become a victim of the inescapable dynamic that forms life.
Families and societies must form men of victory if they want to develop and want to prosper. There can be no choice in this, at least consciously.
In the family environment, many parents worry about the cases in which a child “does not know how to lose” and in this they concentrate their concern and their corrective measures.
The appropriateness, however, does not lie in teaching the children "how to lose" but "how to win", because in the love for victory is the essential lesson of the character that defeats have and the way in which they should be treated to that they don't get in the way of triumph. Essentially, he is the one who knows how to win the one who, at the same time, knows how to lose.
In the social sphere, relief and assistance mechanisms are widespread for those who lose, while the appropriate policy is to teach them how to win.
The teachings we have at hand to Learn to Win are extensive and varied, but among all of them some are the most appropriate to overcome fear:
1.- Visualize fixedly the goal, the objective. Victory is always ahead, it is neither behind nor to the right or to the left. The path to victory is a perfect tunnel, there is only one way out. If you want to understand it this way: the train does not arrive in front, the train comes from behind.
2.- Walk without stopping. Walk forward, don't stop. The best advice at this stage comes from a beautiful banner ad: "keep walking," keep walking. When the day is more difficult, when the goal is more distant and when the forces are lower: keep walking. When the odds of success are small: keep walking. When you missed the chance to reach your goal: keep walking. The definitive defeat never reaches those who keep walking, rather they are the ones who walk without stopping, one day they achieve victory.
3.- When the path is undertaken with Faith and virtuosity, both victory and defeat constitute gain. The good man, the man who does things well and for good must understand that defeat or loss occurs "for some good reason."
Always understand that life rewards (sooner rather than later) the good man. No different premise can appropriate our minds. The maxim of the payment of good for good is mathematical and the triumph for which it perseveres is a statistical determination.
4.- It is not precisely men with powerful vision, sharp intellect or tireless sacrifice who win the race for life or who are unaware of the fear of losing; It is the men who understand the simple statements made earlier who have the best opportunities.
5.- Money, fame, power, love can be lost in some circumstance of life, but one cannot lose himself, because we are our only and main asset. We were already someone before money, before fame, power or love and we still are now. Our existence is a beautiful book made up of many chapters, each one has a transcendental importance, each one must be read and lived to understand and enjoy the whole. When one chapter ends another begins and the story continues with the same vigor, with the same interest. This beautiful book is only lost when its experience is truncated in some chapter and we abandoned it there. Otherwise only when our journey through life has ended can anyone conclude whether it was a story of victory or defeat.Only then the obligation to our destiny has ended.
6.- Everything we have in life is a GIFT and it is good not to cling to anything beyond reason. It is up to giving a good fight and defending everything we have achieved, but there the imperative ends. If we have sown well, the gifts will continue to appear in life. No life can be measured in terms of the "right" for what we have. Since we have no right to stay alive the next day, everything else is only part of a blessing that must be humbly acknowledged.
7.- Let's consider that everything we lose in the effort to achieve victories constitutes one more seed that guarantees a future harvest. We offer our loss as the delivery of a gift for the benefit of our actions and our ideas, for an impulse of love for our dreams, compliance with our healthy ambition and solidarity with our effort.
Let's also reflect on the following: the fear of losing, the one that paralyzes our actions, has in itself a tragic Inconsistency, because how can we value what we are afraid of losing today without understanding that at the time we had to do something to win it?
We did something good to earn what we have today! And we would never have succeeded if the paralysis that caused us fear of losing today ruled us.
Life is a wonderful miracle and we have an obligation to earn your favors.
No present has been given to us on this earth to treasure it, every fruit has to be sown again to multiply the blessings. At the end of the trip only what has been done and what has been delivered has value, because everything else is effectively lost.
How is our self-esteem? How much do we value ourselves? Have we forgotten that we belong to the lineage of those who dominated nature and conquered the earth? Are we part of that species that dominated the seas and conquered space? Are we aware that many people even lost their lives so that today we are what we are?
What example do we want to leave for our children? That of timid, faint-hearted, short-sighted and lacking in basic ambitions, or that of courageous men, capable of controlling their fears and challenging life with their fists ahead?
Franklin Delano Roosevelt wisely said that we should only be afraid of fear itself.
