Sometimes you choose it and sometimes you have no choice but to accept something that is given to you. Something complicated, a new responsibility, something you have not chosen, in short, a challenge.
In history there are countless cases of people who have had to face very complicated situations and who, after having had serious inconveniences, reached excellent goals, such as Stephen Hawking, Beethoven or the Hungarian mountaineer who, after having lost a leg in a Avalanche returned to the same mountain a month later to reach the summit that had been proposed, his name is Zsolt Erös.
Another example is Niki Lauda, a Formula 1 driver, who after having suffered a serious accident was caught in the flames and suffered very serious injuries to the point of having received extreme unction from a priest. A few months later he returned to the track hiding his scars with a cap and kept running until his retirement.
On the network I have found countless examples of this type, the singer Shania Twain who many days went without eating at school and with paper bags as shoes due to the extreme poverty of her family, in which her stepfather mistreated her mother, or Hilary Swank, winner of two Oscars, who lived in parks throughout her childhood and could not finish school…
In short, I do not extend myself with these examples because surely you know first-hand cases of people who have overcome strong difficulties and have reached where they have been proposed.
The question that arises is, why do some people react positively to life's obstacles, struggling and even getting stronger, while others remain trapped in them?
Cultivating resilience
The common note in people who best manage obstacles is that they have emotional flexibility, resilience. Wikipedia defines it this way: “Resilience is the ability to face adversity by being strengthened and reaching a state of professional and personal excellence. From Neuroscience, it is considered that the most resilient people have a greater emotional balance in the face of stressful situations, better withstanding the pressure. This allows them a feeling of control in the face of events and greater ability to face challenges.
Resilience is the conviction that an individual or team has in successfully overcoming obstacles without thinking of defeat despite the fact that the results are against, in the end an exemplary behavior emerges to be highlighted in situations of uncertainty with highly positive results. ”
Very well, but let's go to the practical, what aspects should we work to be more resilient? How can we develop our resilience?
Life is a path full of obstacles. The difference between a person who fights to save them and another who gives up is in their attitude; The worst of all is to be paralyzed by a feeling of fear based on limiting beliefs that block us and prevent us from seeing beyond the problem at hand. These limiting beliefs can and should be worked on.
"Each of us is an impregnable fortress that will only be devastated from within" TJ Flynn
How to develop that positive mindset that helps us overcome the challenges that life poses to us?
Here are some ideas:
- Your strengths. Never take value of what you have achieved, what you know or what you are. Think about your positive points, the skills you have and have already used before. Why not apply them this time? Neutralize your limitations. Identify them and, if you choose, work to overcome them. You will take a great weight off yourself. Overcoming our own limitations is going from feeling like a slave to feeling freedom. I say this from experience. Set small short-term goals. The satisfaction of the achievement will help you to continue with more energy. Less think and more act. Analysis paralysis is a disease that many people suffer and its results are dire. When you do things, things happen. If you don't do things, nothing happens. It's that simple. Generate alternatives. Start your creativity, look for other options, other points of view, new perspectives. Stop focusing on the problem and focus your attention on the solutions. Look beyond. Learn from others. There are many cases of people who have overcome great obstacles in their lives or have succeeded from scratch, with apparently impossible ideas and facing great adversities. Analyze what they have done and how they have done it, what skills they have put into practice… How could you learn from their experience? Learning from someone else's experience is "less painful" emotionally spoken than learning from one's own. Think positive. That's what it's about. It is proven that the neural bonds that are created through positive thoughts are much more powerful than negative ones, although negative ones are easier to form and nurture. It's up to you.
As I always say, those are general keys, the important thing is that you yourself develop your own formula to face complex situations. If you can't do it alone, ask for help.
Remember that you are the owner of your life, convert your freedom into value.
