The time of the year is approaching in which half the world plans to make changes, although of that half world only a small percentage achieves it. The rest, to put the goal back on the list for the following year. This time I am going to tell you why you don't do what you want to do and in the next article we will talk about how to do it.
Why don't you do what you say you want to do? Why do you propose something and you don't carry it out? The first thing that may come to mind is: "because I don't have the will, I'm lazy" or "because it doesn't motivate me much", "because I don't try hard enough", etc.
It is true that the will and motivation are important to get you startedand achieve your goals, but it is also true that they are unreliable, you cannot be motivated every day of your life at all hours. There are slump times and that's when you let your guard down and quit. Therefore, although it is important to take them into account, an essential factor is missing: having good habits. Why? Because they are actions that you do automatically, even if you are unmotivated, tired or stressed. Yes, automatically, as soon as you get up you make the bed, you don't even think about it, you do it, period. Or if you brush your teeth after each meal and you always go to work the same way, it does not require effort or need will or motivation, you are used to it, it is automatic. Well that's what you really have to work on, making a habit of what you want.
But of course, that is not easy at all. Firstly, because deciding that you want to do something is not enough, your rational part may seem logical and feasible, but your irrational part is not about the work. You've been sitting on the sofa for years and now because you've suddenly decided, are you going to run a marathon? It is not that easy. Why? Because the rational part that makes the decision is not the one that controls your habits, and therefore, things get complicated. So you are not able to achieve some of your goals, because no matter how rationally you want to exercise more, sleep more or whatever, your current habits are stronger. And although in the short or medium term you can "force" yourself to make changes, in the long term it is more difficult. Consequence: you quit.
This is one of the reasons why setting yourself SMART goals (realistic, specific, measurable, important and with a time range) helps a lot. However, sometimes even this strategy is not enough and you find yourself with your goals well planned and without making progress, even if you started out motivated. Has it ever happened to you? Probably yes, it is those objectives that we all resist, but why?
The answer was found recently in the book "Surprisingly… Unstuck" by María Brilaki.Some goals resist us because they actually require more than meets the eye. More time, more energy, more steps. For example, you may have considered exercising more from now on. Three days a week you will do 30 minutes of exercise, it is not excessive, you know that for you it is realistic and you really want to get in shape now. Only you don't and you start to feel bad because you would have to try harder, etc. But in reality it is not that you have to try harder or that you are lazy, but that you do not do it because it is not so easy, it is not doing 30 minutes of exercise and that's it. It's putting on sports clothes and showering when you're done, going to the gym or looking for an exercise video and deciding what days, etc. There are many implicit steps and actions that you had not stopped to consider and that are responsible for you continuing to do nothing.
Think about it, how many of the things you have postponed actually required more action than you had considered? The solution then is to make things easier for yourself, requiring less time or effort. On the contrary, if there is something you want to avoid, make it more difficult (hence, not having chocolate at home or having it in a place that is difficult to access, for example.) So you know, if you want to do something, make it a habit and to do this, make it easy!
