"The biggest failure is never having tried" Chinese proverb.
We all have fears and fears. You cannot run away from them, but you can manage them to be able to overcome them and that they do not prevent you from doing what you want. Fears, like beliefs, are neither good nor bad. They simply empower or limit you, they suit you or not, they help you or they harm you…
Surely you would love to know what you can do so that they are not a stone in your way… Well now we see it. Fears are simple defense mechanisms that are activated when we sense a danger that can affect us, be it physical, mental or imaginary (as most of the time).
What makes us fear our own fears so much, is redundancy worth it?
First we would have to say that many times we are not even aware, so if we do not even know that we are suffering, how are we going to overcome it? The first step is to be able to identify them, find a moment of peace with ourselves to feel. Few times do we give ourselves the opportunity to live those moments of serenity, tranquility and peace and let that person who will accompany you all your life, whom you have to love the most and who needs you the most, knows exactly how he feels, how he thinks and how it really is. In case you haven't guessed, that person is you.
One of the most common fears, both in entrepreneurship and in the personal field (the others are better dealt with in another article) is the fear of failure. We do not do it for not making mistakes, so that we do not go wrong, so as not to make bad decisions, so that they do not think badly of us, so that they do not see us as losers, choose your why….And the only thing we achieve is not walking towards the goal that we have set ourselves. It is true, if we don't do it, we are not wrong, but what do we have in return? Think about it for a moment and decide if you want to live in fear, really think about what you are missing and not getting. Fear protects us, therefore it is telling us that there is something that we have to "solve", it gives us a warning to work on that "something" that is not resolved, we have to listen to our bodies.
The fear of failure is an illusion not real, that you have created in your mind and feel it, creating the "false reality" of an event that has not yet happened. That becomes "your truth". A possibility is not a fact. It is just that, a possibility. We are going to analyze a little the causes to understand better why we do that process and what we can do to overcome that fear without affecting our goals.
First of all, we have to accept it. If we do not want to accept it, we can hardly solve it. So, even if it bothers you, accept that you are afraid and try to find out where it comes from and that it is provoking you to know what you can do. I have to tell you that normally it is not a particular reason, but it can be a mixture of them, so you will have to work a little more. Let's see:
- We do not like to accept criticism or make mistakes. Why is it so difficult for us to make decisions sometimes? Because if it does not turn out as we expect it will mean that we have made a mistake, what will others think then? We all need recognition from the people around us, and we care too much. So if we do not make decisions and do nothing, "in theory" we cannot go wrong. What to do? You have to accept that no one is born taught. If we all knew at every moment what to do, no one would make mistakes, so prepare yourself to be constantly learning, never make the mistake of thinking that you already know everything. If you don't take it as an apprenticeship (which is what it is), you'll end up blaming yourself and that burden is too heavy. Nobody likes to accept that they have done something wrong, but it is the first step to prevent it from happening to us again.If we believe that it has been an external cause to us, how are we going to solve it? Accept it and don't identify that mistake with you, you did the best you knew at the time (we never do the wrong thing, purposely, knowing consciously that there is a better option) So your choice was the best choice the moment you found yourself. This is very encouraging, because it is not that you are stupid, it is that you did not have all the information, or the necessary experience or knowledge. So that has a solution: keep making mistakes, what do you mean by failure? It depends on your expectations. We are very demanding of ourselves and we think that we have to do everything well. Maybe by failure you understand that instead of reaching a point in your business in two years, you need five. That you do not reach the billing objective that you have set for this year.That you have to close the business. Or maybe you might not even try. That is up to you, review your beliefs and expectations. What to do? We go back a little to the previous point. All experiences, whether positive or negative, are still learning that we accumulate throughout life. And the same thing probably won't happen to you, but you may be wrong about something else, it's part of life. If you are not wrong you cannot improve. Now, if you do not accept that things can go differently than you had planned, rest assured that you will have many disappointments. What is convenient to have is the ability to adapt to changes and implement them differently as we find them, that is the challenge and the key to good learning and success in your project.the more risk you see what you do. We always attach more importance to the negative. There is a risk in everything we do, even if we do nothing. We are scared of the unknown, because we have not experienced that experience and we make a mental list of all the things that can go wrong. What to do? Everything you do in life has a risk, even doing nothing. Just think: I'm going to do this.. maybe it goes wrong… and that? What is the worst thing that can happen to you? What if that happens? When you assess the risks you realize that you are magnifying the expectation that it will go wrong. You can always make adjustments as you realize it, and the result doesn't have to be as dire as you originally thought.If you let fear take over your mind you will not think clearly and you will not be able to have a broader vision to minimize the consequences and more risk you will see in everything you do. What you can do is prepare to face the circumstances that you find yourself and if you do not like the result, you readjust it and return to the right path, adapting each step, due to past bad experiences. If you have lived an experience that you have cataloged as failure because it did not go as you wanted, if you have felt pain, if you have felt frustration and you keep it inside, fueling that belief that you do not serve or cannot, you will not want to know anything about trying again. At least until you accept it and turn it around, taking it as a learning process to make it better and better.What to do? It is very logical that if you have had a negative experience you are afraid that it will not turn out as you want, again. You have to digest that experience, perhaps let a certain time pass so that you can work on it and re-motivate yourself and prepare to try again. You have to analyze what went wrong the other time, try to inform yourself and train yourself to be better prepared, to minimize the possible mistakes to be made. If you install it as a belief in your brain, that will govern your actions the rest of your life, or until you decide. You have to re-program your beliefs to untie them from that experience and start again. The important thing is to persevere and persevere, and then persevere, there is no other, because of unfounded beliefs as a result of the experiences of others.If everyone constantly tells you that they know so-and-so and that they haven't done well, that it's very difficult, that you have to be very "lucky" or things like that, in the end we end up recording these statements in our brains as if they were "true" they are treated and ends up being part of our reality. If Menganito, who is more experienced than me, or is better prepared, has done poorly, imagine me… What to do? From the outset, people are very fond of giving advice and knowing better than you what is convenient for you. Even if they are the closest with all the love in the world and with the intention of protecting us. We are all unique and unrepeatable, even if we look alike, even if we act similarly, we all have our mental patterns, our beliefs and our emotions, even if they lead us to act similarly,Not all of us process and manage it in the same way. Furthermore, each one has had a specific experience and all of this leads him to be as he is, different from all the others. What works for one may not work for another, so find your own reasons and manage your own fears, do not live those of others. Lack of confidence in ourselves. Not believing in ourselves as having low self-esteem leads us to think that we are not capable of doing something, of carrying out a project. And that becomes law, if you don't think you can, you won't be able to! What to do? That is a very powerful cause that goes beyond pure fear or fear. You can only do well what you undertake (professionally or in life) if you believe in it, in yourself, in what you are going to achieve.How are you going to get something you don't think is possible? The question answers itself. That leads us not to do, to block ourselves to paralyze ourselves to sabotage ourselves…the case is that if it prevents you from taking action you will never know what result you could have had. If you think you need help in any area of your business, look for it, ask for it. Receiving the help of someone who has managed to get where you are and who is not involved in your "obstacles" gives you a vision of yourself that you never imagined. Think big and you will have great results.Receiving the help of someone who has managed to get where you are and who is not involved in your "obstacles" gives you a vision of yourself that you never imagined. Think big and you will have great results.Receiving the help of someone who has managed to get where you are and who is not involved in your "obstacles" gives you a vision of yourself that you never imagined. Think big and you will have great results.
By way of conclusion I will tell you that what makes you overcome your fears is taking action. When you move you are concerned with solving what you find and do not worry so much about the possible result. Fears before starting an action are always stronger than when you are heading towards it. Get ready, focus, and design a plan for your goal, but get going.
To help you be more prepared you can ask yourself:
- What do I need to learn to prepare for that moment? Do I have the necessary resources to undertake my project? What is behind that fear and how can I solve it? What beliefs do you have to review / change so that it does not limit you? What skills and strengths do I have that will help me to overcome any situation? What is the next step I have to take to get closer to my goal? What stops me from taking action?
