To what extent do the criticisms of those around you affect you? Or worse, the fear that they will occur… Many people write to me saying that they would love to start their own business or make an important change in their professional career but they are very afraid of being criticized. Does it ring a bell?
We are not going to deceive ourselves, we all like to be liked and praise what we do and we do not want to be criticized, that is normal and you are not alone. Of course, it is one thing that affects you something and another that paralyzes you completely.
The fear of criticism, which is nothing other than fear of what others will say, what others think, usually appears when you want to do something that is radically different from what you do now (such as leaving your scientific career to be a coach) and that will involve many comments. The importance that you give to the status is involved here and it is that, whether we like it or not, there are some professions that are more valued than others socially and depending on the importance you give to that it will affect you more or less what they think others.
Another option is to be afraid of what they will say if things do not go well. The typical "if I already knew it, is that it is missing two fingers from the front", "but who can think of it", etc.
Which one do you identify with?
Surely you know the famous story of the frogs that were climbing a tree while around them their companions gathered commenting on how crazy they were and that they believed themselves, etc. The climbing frogs fell one by one, except for one, which managed to climb all the way to the top. Why? Because she was deaf and couldn't hear the comments from those below.
I would add to the story a second triumphant little frog, who heard the comments and thought “Oh yeah? You are going to find out who I am, you are going to tell me what I can and cannot do ”.
There are many people who are fortunate enough to take criticism as motivation, to use anger or indignation as a motor to do what they want more earnestly, or who simply turn a deaf ear to the comments of others; But if that is not your case and the fear of criticism is causing you to lead a life you do not want, this can help you:
- Every time someone makes a negative comment to you, think to yourself “that's what you think, I don't agree” and you become deaf or change the subject. Fear of criticism can lead to a lack of self-confidence or self-esteem, seek help on that matter. When you are convinced that you are doing what you really want, you do not let the criticism of others stop you. Do not comment on your intentions until you feel more secure. Sometimes you need time to feel more confident and you don't care what other people think. While that moment comes, don't give too many details if you don't want to. Stay away from people who only know how to curse and criticize. Constructive criticism, which helps you grow and improve (even if it hurts a little), is one thing, and stark criticism with a bad idea is another.Stay away from those types of people and surround yourself with people who support and encourage you, which does not mean that they always agree with you, but that they at least support you. I know that sometimes that person is a close relative and that it is not easy, and I do not tell you to break the relationship with him, only that you do not comment on the details or that, if they ask you, you say that everything is going well and you change of topic. Do not give importance to the criticism of people who do not know what they are talking about. This for me is essential. Decide who you are going to listen to and who is not. Because people love to give advice even if they have no idea what they are talking about. Listen to someone who has experience in your situation. If you have a business and people who don't know anything about business start giving you advice,Well, you thank them for the intention but what interests you is the people who know what they are talking about. If you were sick, you would go to the doctor, right? Or would you listen to the neighbor who recommends some pills that went very well for her without having a clue if they would go well for you or not? (If you do, you shouldn't because you're jeopardizing your health.) It is not necessary to be arrogant, it is always good to take into account the ideas of people from other fields because they can open your eyes to certain things that you had not considered. That is one thing and another to let someone who knows nothing of what you do tell you that you do it right or wrong.you shouldn't because you're jeopardizing your health). It is not necessary to be arrogant, it is always good to take into account the ideas of people from other fields because they can open your eyes to certain things that you had not considered. That is one thing and another to let someone who knows nothing of what you do tell you that you do it right or wrong.you shouldn't because you're jeopardizing your health). It is not necessary to be arrogant, it is always good to take into account the ideas of people from other fields because they can open your eyes to certain things that you had not considered. That is one thing and another to let someone who knows nothing of what you do tell you that you do it right or wrong.
Keep in mind that you will always be criticized for one thing or another, if you do because you do and if not because not, but remember that it is your life. When you are 90 years old, what are you going to think about this moment? If they are going to criticize you, at least they do it for something that you really want to do.
You know what? It is very easy to be down complaining and embittering those who try to climb, the difficult thing is to dare to climb the tree. So decide, what kind of frog are you?
