In the game of life, we find successes and failures and we have to learn and keep trying and learning. Some however, take the stumbles as hopeless disasters and enter a state of hopelessness, in which nothing makes sense anymore. Keep reading.
Human life is a succession of ups and downs, of successes and failures. Sometimes we live nutritious and meaningful experiences that allow us to achieve fulfillment and peace, and other times what we live is frustration, dissatisfaction and grief.
Whether we have more positive or negative experiences depends on ourselves and the circumstances around us. There are people marked by biological predispositions that lead to physical or mental limitations. Also social or political events can affect our way of life, and there are psychological factors, such as traumatic events, that take away our happiness. In these situations, depending on our personality, we can fight to overcome obstacles or surrender and stop trying to overcome ourselves and achieve our most cherished desires. This state of discouragement is known as hopelessness.
Hopelessness is a highly limiting state since it is not based on reality but on what people consider to be their own inability to achieve what they want. It can be said that it is a state in which love, trust, enthusiasm, joy and faith are weakened or extinguished. It is a state of helplessness in which the person feels trapped, overwhelmed and helpless. Nietzsche, an outstanding philosopher, considered it "a disease of the soul".
Hopelessness is neither disappointment nor despair. Disappointment is the perception of a disappointed expectation, despair is the loss of patience and peace, an anxious state that leads us to look at the future as threatening. Hopelessness is a belief that there is nothing to do now or ever. It is the abandonment of ambition and risk. And it is precisely that absolutist sense, which gives it its nefarious character.
Martin Seligman, creator of a psychological current known as "Positive Psychology", studied this topic in depth, and together with a prominent collaborator, Steven Maier, they subjected a group of dogs to an experiment in which they were applied electric shocks, unpredictable and uncontrollable. Among their conclusions, they reported that the animals were prevented from predicting or controlling the painful stimulus, so they lost their motivation and looked discouraged, slow and clumsy to act and limited to learn new behaviors.
In politics and war strategies are used to generate dissidents, opponents and / or enemies, feelings of demoralization, to seize power.
However, it is possible to face and overcome hopelessness. Some useful recommendations for this are:
- Understand that despair is a psychological state, that is: mental and emotional, and not of a tangible reality.
- Assume that everything happens and that each day is new and full of possibilities and potential for achievement. Today is not yesterday.
- Find creative ways to approach the situation that worries or bothers you.
- Lean on friends and people who have resources that you do not have.
- Look at situations differently. Find them the positive side.
- Accept the facts without avoiding or denying them. Realism provides perspective.
- Remember other times when there seemed to be no way out and you found it.
- Humbly accept what cannot be changed.
- Focus on the solution rather than the problem.
- Look in your experience for thoughts and behaviors that have helped you overcome similar situations.
- Segment the action. Define a strategy and take one step at a time.
- Don't suffer in silence. Seek help if you think the situation has overtaken you
The most important thing here is that you understand that the vast majority of the times we suffer, the cause is not so much the events, but the modes of interpretation that we assume. Your emotions don't come from out there, they are in your mind and can be modified or removed from there, if you change your thoughts. Try, try again, try another way and another time. And if nothing works, accept, and move on. Thanks for reading me. Email: [email protected] and Twitter: @doctorrenny
