When I was a girl and until my adolescence, I was very shy, this is true, I always wanted to be a nice and attractive person for others.
But the problem was that I didn't have self-esteem and it was very difficult for me to socialize with other people.
There are many reasons why I was shy, my family was always busy doing different tasks and they didn't take care of me. I became very depressed by this very negative view of my life.
I grew up with a problem that was my stuttering, but as you can imagine, this does not help me at all in my self-esteem and this caused me to not be able to relate to other people. Finally, after eighteen years of not bonding with other people, he can overcome my shyness.
I always wanted to be myself, but others saw me as a lonely person. When I was alone no one could harm me and I did not suffer from the effects of my stuttering. Inside I was a very confident person, I was wanting to show the world my way of thinking, my true personality.
Being a shy person caused me problems in relating to other people and especially in my work.
Around the age of twenty-one, I decided to try to overcome my shyness, I had to understand what were the real reasons why I had this problem to relate to others, and I decided to find a solution. I started by asking myself some questions like:
Why am I afraid of people?
- The answer was that she was afraid of not being accepted and loved. People could be aggressive or they could make fun of me when I wanted to intervene in a conversation, etc. This attitude I had was paranoid, so I decreed that if I did not try to change this behavior, I would never know what the position of the people was.
Why am I afraid to socialize with others?
- I was afraid that in group conversations, I would have nothing to say or that people would think it was boring. So I decided that I had to try to do my best and see what the people's reaction was.
Why am I afraid of relating to the opposite sex?
- This was because I felt that I was afraid that I was not attractive or that they did not interest my way of thinking. But once again, if she didn't try, how would she know what would happen?
These are some of the questions I asked myself, and there is probably a pattern to modify these fears, such as that of some people who are afraid to try to do things or fear of failure.
This helped me realize that every ten people I have met, three out of four of them, felt at some point in their lives in the same way that I did, but there were six people who felt very sure of themselves, This gives me the guideline that it is not so rare that we suffer this feeling at some point in our existence.
Life is short to suffer with paranoia and stress. I will always have to fight my shyness and free myself from it.
At the moment I have more confidence in myself, but I still have periods in which my shyness resurfaces, although they are increasingly scarce as time passes.
The advice I can give you is that if you are not happy with your shyness, you must work very hard to get rid of it. I am sure you can live a much more relaxed life, in the same way that I am enjoying it.
