Decision making is one of the processes that most distresses many people, especially if we are talking about an important decision that can mean big changes in your personal or professional life. In fact, it is something that can keep you paralyzed for a long time and that is why it is a topic that interests me especially because while you are paralyzed and dissatisfied, your life continues to pass…
Although I have already written several articles on the subject, last week I saw a video on Maria Brilaki's blog where I interviewed Dr. Tracy Thomas on that subject, and I found the 4 steps she mentions to make an important decision very interesting, so I share them with you along with my personal reflections.
One of the problems when making important decisions, such as a career change for example, is the fear that things will go wrong, criticism from others, regret etc.
Fear makes you not think clearly and, although deep down you do know what you want (in fact I have verified that most of my clients usually know what they want, and when they feel heard and confidently discover it), follow paralyzed. So the first step is to get rid of that fear. And how? Answering the first question:
1. Does this decision, this change, carry a danger of life or death?
That is what is truly important and you already know that in the vast majority of cases the answer is NO. No, your life and yours will not be in danger and no, you will not end up living under a bridge. (If yes, obviously the answer to the decision would be no, it goes without saying.)
That should focus you a little. And yes, you may have to make major changes in your life and routines, and you may have to get out of your comfort zone, and you may have to do unusual things, but your life is not in danger.
Once you have that clear, we move on to the next point. What if, even if your life is not in danger, you still have no idea what to do, what decision to make? We move on to the next question (which I love):
2. Which of the options do you feel is a yes?
Make no mistake, many times deep down there is an option that excites you, that you feel is a yes, that is what you want. What decision excites you and feels yours? And yes, in the vast majority of cases you know, be honest with yourself.
And what if there is no option that seems like a big YES to you? So we move on to the 3rd question…
3. What is a YES for you?
We return to the usual, if you do not know what you want, it will be very difficult for you to make a decision. So if the previous question has left you just as confused, it's time to get specific. What is a very clear yes for you?
Or what would be a yes, what would make one of the options a yes. Because one thing is clear, what is not a yes is a no, at least for the moment. So think about what a yes is for you.
And please be realistic, we are looking for a solution good enough for your personal or professional satisfaction, not the perfect solution. I have already mentioned that searching for the perfect leaves you exactly where you are, without making any progress. So it's not worth it, it would be a yes if I had a million euros. Think about your current situation and circumstances, which are what count.
In addition, this question is important because perhaps you were considering certain options and thinking like this opens up new possibilities that you had not taken into account. Or because maybe you have realized that it is going to be no but you have finally learned what the yes would be. You have finally learned what you want, now that you have stopped to think about it. Because it is very common to know what you don't want but not what you want, right?
And what to do in that case? When you know that it is not a yes at all, that you are on the right track but something is missing or simply that you are not sure… In that case:
4. Do whatever is closest to YES.
Until you get more data or more experience and you can modify your career if necessary. Don't be afraid to make a decision that brings you closer to YES, you already know that you cannot correct the path if you are not underway, and better to be close than to remain stagnant, especially if the answer to the first question was no…
So if this is your situation, think carefully about each question and tell me in the comments which of the 4 points has helped you the most…
