Self-esteem is not something fixed or immovable, in fact self-esteem can change, it is more it is formed throughout our lives.
The quality of personal life is notably influenced by the way each person perceives and values themselves. This assessment that each individual makes of himself is what in the scientific literature is known as self-esteem.
The word self-esteem is made up of two concepts, that of "self" that alludes to the person in itself and for itself and "esteem" that alludes to valuation, therefore we can define self-esteem as the valuation that a person makes of herself.
When the evaluation that we make of ourselves is beneficial for our quality of life, it can be said that we have a positive self-esteem, while if it is harmful, we find ourselves with a negative self-esteem.
Self-esteem is not something fixed or immovable, in fact self-esteem can change, it is more it is formed throughout our lives.
Improving self-esteem is possible by acting on the different aspects that make it up. The process of improving self-esteem is a learning process, in which various keys play a fundamental role, as well as a continuous work of personal growth.
Positive self-esteem
Positive self-esteem provides a set of beneficial effects for our health and quality of life, which are manifested in the development of a fuller personality and a more satisfactory perception of life.
· Increases the ability to face and overcome personal difficulties by facing problems with an attitude of personal confidence.
· Encourages the ability to make commitments and therefore to be more responsible by not avoiding them out of fear.
· Enhances creativity by increasing confidence in our own personal abilities.
· It bases personal autonomy, by increasing confidence in ourselves, we have more capacity to set our own goals.
· It allows us to establish more egalitarian and satisfactory social relationships, by being more assertive and facing conflicts with a positive attitude.
Negative self-esteem
When self-esteem is negative, our health suffers because we lack confidence in ourselves to address the successive challenges that life presents us with from a positive perspective and this makes our quality of life not as optimal as it could be.
· Lacking personal confidence, diminishes our ability to face the many problems and conflicts that arise in life.
· Lack of trust causes us to avoid commitments and therefore to tackle new responsibilities, thus depriving ourselves of greater wealth in our life experiences, or when we face new commitments we are overwhelmed by responsibilities, being our threshold of resistance to conflict more limited.
· It does not contribute to promoting our creativity, since we do not trust our personal capacities.
· Lacking self-confidence, we hardly set our own goals and aspirations so we are more vulnerable to act according to what is expected of us and not according to our own decisions.
· The relationships we establish with other people are not equal, since our lack of trust prevents us from addressing personal conflicts from an egalitarian perspective, often adopting submissive or aggressive attitudes.
Self esteem can be changed
Self-esteem is not something static but can be changed and modified throughout our lives. For it to be enhanced, it is important to observe the factors that influence its formation because, knowing them, we will be in a position to modify them and correct those aspects that limit our confidence in ourselves.
· Self-esteem is formed through the observation and appreciation that each person makes of himself.
· The beliefs that each of us have about the image that other people have of us also contribute.
· Changing self-esteem means modifying it to increase confidence in our own personal capacities.
Self-esteem is formed throughout our lives
The process of self-esteem formation begins from our earliest ages and continues throughout adulthood. The formation of self-esteem is influenced by the close family environment and the cultural context in which we develop.
Family models are transmitted by influencing their configuration, not only the emotional bond with the adult world, especially with the father and mother, but also the greater or lesser appreciation that is made of our behavior and what is expected of us by the being women.
From childhood, because we are girls, we internalize a series of beliefs about what is expected of us that we are assuming and, when we reach adulthood, we tend to reaffirm because it is what, due to being a woman, it has assumed as a cultural model.
Both family and cultural models shape our self-esteem, so it is important to observe and review them to become aware of the negative models that we have internalized and thus be able to change them.
Aspects that make up self-esteem
Modifying self-esteem to promote it and positively enhance it, means acting on the different components of it:
· Cognitive component, involves acting on "what I think" to modify our negative and irrational thoughts and replace them with positive and rational thoughts.
· Affective component, implies acting on "what I feel", on the emotions and feelings that we have about ourselves.
· Behavioral component, involves acting on "what I do", that is, on behavior, to modify our actions.
The three components are closely related to each other, so that acting on one of them, we obtain effects on the other two. If I change a negative thought about myself for a positive one, I will surely feel better about myself and this feeling of well-being will drive me to act, probably doing something I didn't think I was capable of.
Some keys to improve self-esteem
Self-esteem can be improved throughout our lives, when we become aware of ourselves and decide to change the model of thought, feeling and behavior learned. Changing this model implies:
· Accept ourselves as we are, for this we must become aware of ourselves by questioning ourselves about our self-worth and reflecting on the family and cultural models that are influencing our opinion of ourselves.
· Try to change negative models for positive ones that promote our self-esteem.
· Control destructive criticism because what we think tends to be fulfilled, is the "self-fulfillment of the prophecy", whether positive or negative and therefore if we permanently send ourselves negative messages, by internalizing and believing them we end up acting in such a way that we promote their fulfillment.
· Avoid comparing ourselves with other people, since each person is unique and singular, there is no sense in doing it and, in addition, when comparing ourselves we always find someone who is better or happier in our eyes.
