Everyone has dreamed, at least once, of having the “perfect” couple relationship. Perhaps it is too ambitious a dream, the human being is far from perfection and this makes the perfect couple relationship practically impossible.
However, it is possible to have an authentic and lasting relationship that is satisfying for both parties and makes both of you better people being together.
I have a relationship like this myself. Of course, in thirty years we have gone through different phases, good, not so good and even bad. And here we are, with a shared half-life, a lot of love, and the illusion and the conviction that it will continue to be that authentic and lasting. I have good news, if I could you can too.
I explain 3 keys that have made this possible:
1. Love is the basis of any relationship
Love is an intense feeling of emotional and sexual attraction that one has towards a person with whom one wishes to share a life in common, creating a couple relationship. It is a feeling related to affection, and resulting and producing a series of emotions, experiences and attitudes.
Once the stage of "falling in love" is over, love arrives, and we begin to see what our partner really is like. He stops being a perfect being and becomes a human being, with his defects and virtues. In coexistence there are a thousand disagreements, both in small things and in really important things. Without love we cannot possibly be willing to give in frequently on decisions that directly affect us.
Giving in with generosity is essential, since sometimes we have a bad day, or something hurts us, or we are upset, and that closes us and makes us inflexible. It is then essential that the other party give in generously (I am not talking about bowing to the wishes of the other, I am talking about knowing how to stop the issue and leave it for the best occasion instead of entering into conflict), and it is also essential that there be alternation, since if it always yields the same, there is no generosity for one of the parties, and the system stops working.
2. The commitment is what allows the couple's relationship to be solid
A commitment is a responsibility that is contracted. In the case of couple relationships, the commitment is to make the decision to bet on the couple, putting the needs of the couple at the same level as their own. And I say at the same level because if I put them above, I am annulled as an individual, and that ultimately ends up having a negative impact on me, and also on the couple.
That commitment, in addition to leading us to yield generously at certain times, leads us to negotiate with the other until we find a valid solution for both parties when there is disagreement.
Does the term “negotiate” seem unromantic to you? Well, it seems to me that what is unromantic is falling out of love or even breaking up the couple having love, because it is always the same one that ends up giving in and burning, or because neither of them ever gives in and they end up throwing each other junk to the head.
3. Respect is necessary for the couple's relationship to be healthy
Respect is the consideration and recognition of the value of a person. By recognizing the other we come to respect him, and also to the relationship we have with him / her. Respect is as essential in a couple relationship as love and commitment.
When there is no respect in a couple relationship, love disappears, it becomes something else. Sometimes it is the case of a couple who, after losing respect, are able, usually with outside help, to recompose their relationship and rekindle love. But while disrespect lasted, that was no longer love. There was a relationship, but not a love one.
Respect brought to its maximum expression becomes admiration. Every human being is worthy of admiration, we just have to look at the qualities that most attract us from another human being to see them. When you love someone it is even easier to find reasons for admiration, and when the admiration is mutual, the bond becomes stronger and more pleasant.
If you look at the text of this article, you will see the amount of really wonderful words that appear: love, commitment, respect, affection, compromise, generosity, responsibility, consideration, recognition, admiration. Are you really willing to do your part? If so, and your partner also does, I promise you an authentic and lasting relationship.
"When one is young thoughts become love, with age love becomes thoughts." Albert Einstein.
