The success we experience in our lives depends largely on how we relate to other people, and the basis of these interpersonal relationships is communication. I am talking particularly about the way we usually talk to those with whom we usually come in contact on a daily basis, our children, spouses, friends or co-workers.
Many times, whether publicly or privately, we refer to other people in unconstructive terms, especially when they are absent. I have always believed that it is a good rule to refer to other people in the terms that we would like them to refer to us.
When you are talking about someone, always ask yourself: How would this person feel if they were present, listening to what I am saying about them? Would it feel good or bad? Would your self-esteem improve or worsen? Remember that each and every one of us is capable of positively impacting the lives of those with whom we come into contact. So when you are referring to someone else, stop and think about what you are going to say. And this does not mean that we cannot express our disagreement or our anger with other people for any particular situation. However, always remember to reproach or criticize the action or the results and not the person.
I want to repeat this idea one more time: All of us impact other people's lives every day! And we do it with our appreciation or our indifference, with our praises or with our criticisms, with our smiles or with our disdain. The sad thing is that we almost always allow this opportunity to positively impact other people's lives to pass by, depriving ourselves, not only of having been able to positively influence the life of another human being, but also depriving ourselves of the satisfaction that the do this.
It is sad, but many times I find husbands, or wives, or parents who let others know how proud they are about their partner or about their children… and this is fine, don't get me wrong. However, many times, the person who needs to hear it the most, never listens to it. And we don't have to wait until the son brings in his end-of-year grades so he knows how proud we are to see his dedication and commitment to his studies. We don't have to wait until Father's Day or Mother's Day comes, to let our partner or parents know how much we appreciate their love and dedication.
Doctor Shad Helmstetter author of the book "What to say when you are talking to yourself" says that during the first 18 years of our life, the average person has heard the expressions NO !! at least 148,000 times. or DO NOT DO THAT !!. And during that same period of time there are very few times that we have heard that we can be capable or how far we can go. Of course, all of us have areas in our lives or personal attitudes that we need to improve; but also, we all have great qualities.
So let us exalt the positive qualities of others, let us become the kind of person others want around you.
