It is impressive how currently when you observe people in a public place, most of them are not 100% connected with the present or with whoever is in front of them; it is connected to something or someone else. A recent study by Time magazine revealed that the average adult checks their phone an average of 110 times per day, as if by not doing so they are missing something crucial.
Our connection habits
To truly connect you need “presence” and a state of total awareness of what is happening. Looking the other person in the eye and reading their emotions through body language is part of what "humanizes" us. In the same way that the muscles of our body atrophy if too much time passes without exercising them; If our brains are exercised in frequent face-to-face contact, our abilities to establish "meaningful" human contact may be diminished.
Research in neuroscience and psychology ensures that our brains are extremely adaptable and capable of learning and transforming through experience. This ability is known as neuro-plasticity. Something we may not have known is that our social connection habits can leave a physical imprint on us as powerful as experience, and the loss of these habits can be harmful.
Our social interactions have a direct effect on our biological functions, which in turn generate a feeling of well-being and impact our health. In fact, research work in the field "Social Genomics" reveals that our personal history of loneliness, company or human interaction is expressed in our cells and in our immune system. For this reason, people with significant and frequent positive relationships are healthier, happier and live longer.
Our ability to be "human"
When you share a smile or a laugh with someone - face to face - a "spark" is activated that generates a remarkable synchrony, which moves us to imitate the emotional states of the other. Gestures that are broadcast live can activate neural functions; and it is only in micro-moments like these, where the wave of well-being and energy is transmitted through two bodies and two brains at the same time, reinforcing our capacity to empathize and humanize
Young parents, instead of worrying too much about their children's genetics, should avoid having a screen in the way of their interactions and pay more attention to this conscious and uninterrupted human contact with their children. The ideal would be to reduce actions such as "texting" when the baby is fed or checking emails or social networks when bathing children, since the example of these behaviors can leave traces in the social development of their children and they can grow believing that it is appropriate not to pay attention to your loved ones.
Tips to “disconnect” and enjoy the moment
To start connecting with the body, mind and heart. Here are some tips to detoxify a little of the technology:
- If you're going to have a conversation with someone you care about, don't put the phone on the table, put it away and avoid checking it when the other person answers a call or stops to go to the toilet. Observe the other person's body language, they light up your eyes when speaking? Smile? What are their gestures expressing? Establish schedules with your family or your partner in which they are totally disconnected. When you are alone, look up from your screen and begin to appreciate what is around you, hot or cold? Are you close to something green? Do you notice any changes? Assign some hours of the day to check your emails or browse your social networks.
Source: Your heart vs. Your phone by Barbara L. Frederickson - NY Times.
