I have already commented once that, sometimes, it seems that circumstances conspire to write an article; and this is another example. I have been talking to clients and readers for a while about the emotional stages that we all go through and that some manage better than others. It is something that is not mentioned much but it is extremely important (and I know from experience) and, just this week, in the newsletter of one of my mentors, Diana Fontanez, she comments: “ The problem is not feeling. It is not being prepared for those emotional stages that we all have to go through. ” This phrase has just inspired me to write this article.
When you are having a moment of professional anguish and stress, either because you are at a crossroads and you do not know which way to go, because you have just made a major career change, or because you have encouraged yourself to establish yourself, you will have many emotional ups and downs. It is a fact, an emotional roller coaster awaits you and you are likely to do what most people do: find out how you can eliminate your fears and insecurities and get frustrated and angry with yourself when your motivation drops, if you put things off and don't You start, or if you have a "bad" day in which you wonder if you really did well. Does it ring a bell?
I know these stages well because I must have passed them all. When I was considering whether to continue in science or dedicate myself to coaching, when I left science, when I started the business, during different phases of the business (when there is no movement, when it is not stable, etc.) As you see a lot of circumstances in that fears, insecurity and doubts attack.
So that's when you get impatient and you think you are not worth it because otherwise you would not be afraid, or that you should be motivated, or to see if everyone was right and you have screwed up, and you wonder, like Many clients and readers ask me: What can I do to avoid feeling this way? To always be happy, motivated and with energy.
Nothing, because that is impossible.
As Diana says, feeling like this is not the problem (it is normal, you are a human being not a doll), the problem is not being prepared for these stages and not accepting them. Assume and accept that there will be moments of intense emotions, it is normal, you are making changes and leaving your comfort zone. As I have mentioned before, you may even need a kind of grief period if you change your career radically (as it happened to me with science). During those moments the important thing is:
- Accept that they are temporary and normal situations and emotions.
- Take care of yourself and pamper yourself as much as possible.
- Be patient with yourself and reinforce your conviction that, as Scarlett O'Hara said in "Gone with the Wind," "Tomorrow will be another day."
At least it is what has worked for me. There's no point in fighting your feelings, and while it seems obvious, it isn't. Until someone tells you that it is normal to go through that, you believe that you are not as brave as you should be, or that there is something you are not doing well. But none of that.
Of course, I am referring exclusively to those periods of ups and downs that you are going to go through yes or yes, periods of doubt in the face of these great changes or "bad" days in which you do nothing and feel fatal. If these stages get too long and you feel sunk and unmotivated, it could be more serious, and in that case, you need the professional help of a therapist. Otherwise, do not feel guilty and accept that it is a bad day, that you are not going to do much and that you want more to go to the movies or whatever and the next day, to put your batteries back. And always keep in mind that powerful reason that has driven change, your why, don't forget.
How about?
