Healthy self-esteem is about personal acceptance and self-worth, it is learning to live in harmony with who we are, feel, think and say. It reflects a positive attitude towards life and a way of showing the best of ourselves in our society. On many occasions it is the key to our successes or failures.
Whoever achieves a healthy self-esteem is the one who has built a good image of his person before his own eyes and can, then, reflect it to others.
Self-esteem is the degree of self-worth that brings into play the concept that each one has of himself. We tend to speak somewhat lightly about the subject, but few know about the causes or consequences of such an assessment. Children are born and grow seeing themselves and others as the most perfect and wonderful thing. They do not find fault with the people they love, nor do they believe that they must still be better than another baby and excel.
We must look for the origin of low self-esteem in childhood. It is calculated that in the first years of his life a child listens to nearly 100,000 sentences that contain the word NO, for example; "Don't touch that or that," "you don't feel that way," "no, no, and a thousand times no." These powerful expressions of the mother or the father create in the child a well of insecurity, rejection or resentment towards himself and that later emerge in adulthood when difficulties arise.
Then the underestimation or contempt of the self comes later, having spent enough time and influences to feel ugly, useless and failed, or balanced, understanding and brave. Listing possible causes is a simple task; its corresponding explanation requires a little more time. But let's see: what threatens self-esteem ? In many cases, the influence of our parents is decisive in the first stage of our development and then the social influence that also exercises power to lower our self-esteem, due to criticism, ridicule, social complexes and pressure. In reality, we are constituted according to how others see us, it matters little how we really are and how we see ourselves.
In the first stage of our growth and later in adolescence, it is important that our parents show us how valuable we are to them and how excellent we are as people. For example, most children who wear glasses are besieged in their environment with ridicule such as "four eyes", in this case parents should make that child understand that people who wear glasses or glasses are also valuable, showing the same Time photographs of important people who wear glasses such as Bill Gates (president of Microsoft), Gandhi (leader of India), among many others. In this way it is shown to the boy or girl that people with glasses can be very important and intelligent, this feeds the boy her own self-esteem and gives her self-confidence.
All of us, without exception, go through moments of low self-esteem without becoming a "chronic" characteristic of our personality.
Unfortunately many people in different parts of the world are going through a time of low self-worth due to unemployment and different types of crises. No rational explanation related to sociological and economic studies that mark it as a world trend seems to alleviate the feeling of feeling "little." It is a rare disease that only heals when you are busy, when you feel useful and recognized.
And it is logical. Getting a job makes us feel valued and recognized, which in itself has nothing to do with who we really are but, in any case, this seems to work. The feeling of knowing that someone needs us is enormously comforting and capable of quickly healing any acute depression. It is much more effective than any medication.
Once in a job, we give this responsibility to all the pillars of motivation (recognition, training, attention, error correction, etc.), which are those that maintain high self-esteem. But the most incredible thing is the influence that this has on personal life. Because all aspects of our lives seem to converge on the point of affective lack (or how they taught us to love ourselves). This is how, magically, we had a good day at work and we felt the immense happiness of arriving home. Because nothing seems so serious when we feel good.
Busy or unemployed, satisfied or not with our employment, we must learn to look for the supports of our self-esteem also outside our occupation, examining the possibility of developing activities that are not initially rented that show us that we are beyond the gaze and the judgment of others. Waiting for others to approve of what we do (which is who we are) can take a lifetime or much of it. And this is a very high price because, ultimately, all we have is ourselves.
Your responsibility
But where does our self-esteem reside and on whom does it depend? Although family support and acceptance during childhood help, it is true that each person owns their destiny and that everything depends on themselves. Many people with a history of dysfunctional families blame their parents or family circumstances for the poor self-image. Nothing affects self-esteem more than assuming yourself as victims. No one is a victim of the world, we are victims of ourselves.
Actually, what we do in interacting with the world and each of our actions triggers a reaction that can create positive or negative changes in the future. We live the consequences of our actions. Assimilate this fact, «I am responsible for my own image; only I can clean it up before my very eyes. It is my responsibility », is the first step to work on your self-esteem.
Recognize yourself
Your degree of self-esteem powerfully influences all aspects of your life. The higher your self-esteem, the higher your intellectual, emotional and economic aspirations will be. People with healthy self-esteem show these behavior patterns. A healthy self-esteem is the root of a life full of successes, it is the seed that germinates and later becomes a leafy tree full of fruit. When a human being feels full, vigorous, safe and free of complexes, he is a being with a healthy self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem facilitates confidence, independence, autonomy, responsibility and the certainty of freedom.
Exercise your self-esteem
* Assume with calm your achievements and failures. This will help you accept reality as it is.
* Identify your place in the world. Take on the different roles you play in life: Son, father, brother, boss, junior, worker, citizen. Analyze your limitations and potential. Find your place in the world and recognize that the world is fickle.
* Serenely listen to constructive criticism of your mistakes. It is part of your learning and personal growth.
* Accept, without anxiety, that you are not perfect (nobody is) and allow yourself to be spontaneous.
* Be flexible in the face of the challenges that are presented to you. Approach them as opportunities and not as problems.
* Be energetic, dynamic and dissatisfied with what is established and begin to produce positive changes.
The person with high self-esteem shows himself as he is. She does not hide her essence, she works to resolve her internal conflicts to emerge stronger, she knows her limitations and she knows how far she can go, but above all, she treats others with respect, justice and benevolence, since she seeks to receive.
" Self-confidence is the first secret to success."
