They cannot deny that communication is vital in any relationship and the lack of communication continues to be a source of conflict in any setting, call it work, home, the street… It is said that out of ten problems, nine are generated by poor communication. Reviewing the book by Allan and Barbara Pease "Because men do not listen and women do not understand maps", I remembered many of the typical situations that occur in an interpersonal relationship and especially between a man and a woman.
Let's see some cases. When a woman needs to go to the services, other women usually seek the company, at which time the toilets can become a social meeting room or press center. In the case of man, it generally comes for one reason only; She hardly asks them to accompany her, since she could be misunderstood. Another feature is that men take over the TV remote control, it could be said that it has already become one more limb of their body, while for women it may be the same to see advertising. Women criticize men for their lack of affection, their poor communication to express their feelings for them. For their part, men criticize the way women drive, their lack of orientation on the streets; for talking too much and not going to the "point".It is said that a woman can quickly find the keys to the house but it can take an "eternity" to find the short way to reach the destination.
One thing I have learned over the years of marriage is that wives only want to be heard, they don't necessarily expect solutions to their problems, because they already have them. Unfortunately, for them, men, we are quintessential problem solvers and we carry a "factory" linear scheme: problem - solution, cause - effect. For example, when the wife says "I don't know what dress to wear for the party on Saturday," be sure that she has already chosen the dress she will wear.
When I take my wife to work in the morning, the journey becomes a kind of mobile therapy, but believe it or not, in a 40-minute journey, I only utter at most five words. It is she who speaks while I just nod or shake my head in response. However, I cannot deny that this makes her happy… and I feel very good.
Allan and Barba Pease comment that the men are amazed at the ability of women to enter a crowded room and be able to comment on each of the guests quickly. I have always been struck by their peripheral vision, to see what we cannot see, as if they had "eyes at the nape of the neck". They are also surprised that a woman cannot see the flashing red oil light on the car's dashboard. One of the situations that always generates a comment in my wife is when I manage to park in parallel… in general, she says: "How can you do that?… What envy!"
An act considered weak, for men generally occurs, when they do not find the direction of a street and must ask for help from a person who walks there, ordinarily, they will keep going around, saying phrases like: «I think it is around here … We are already close". If it happens to a woman, he will probably ask the first person he meets.
Another frequent situation that differentiates us is, for example, when men want to find a pair of stockings in the drawer or take the butter out of the refrigerator, chances are we don't stop until we call our wives to ask "Where did you hide it? Then, she arrives and she looks quickly and takes the object as if she had a detecting machine in front of her, the kind used in airports.
A series of investigations have been carried out that are rooted in the cave age. Men and women performed different tasks. While they hunted, they gathered. The men had to protect the family and the women were dedicated to raising the children. As a consequence of these activities, both developed their bodies and brains differently. Today it is clearer that both sexes think and believe differently. This is, in many cases, due to their perceptions, priorities and behaviors, say the Pease spouses.
When a man returns from work, tired, it is common for the wife to ask him questions about how the day went, the answer is almost always monosyllabic… «Good or bad». On the contrary, the woman is able to count her whole day in "colors and in several languages". Another common fact occurs when the wife asks you to go shopping… at that moment the husband's legs begin to tremble and he sweats cold… The best thing was that he only wanted to buy a hook and he ends up filling the car… that really is a proof of love. It must have happened to him that he passes by a clothing store and his wife says to him: What a nice dress! and without flinching you have answered… Yes right? now let's continue walking or maybe the classic scene:My love, do you think I look fat?… That question is usually compromising… and what do you think the wife expects in response? No my heaven, you are beautiful and slim !, unfortunately you hear responses like: well… if you are gaining weight… better stop eating bread and exercise… you can imagine what comes next.
The dizzying changes produced in recent years, in the world, have caused men and women to assume different roles from what their parents probably had. Today they both have to work, get home and continue with the housework. Personally I must say that I had to learn to work as a team at home, to collaborate with my wife to have more time together. The responsibility of raising children must be shared, for the health of all. The children demand the attention of both… there are no more excuses.
It is important to accept that we are different and I do not mean that one is better than the other. Men and women have special characteristics and it is necessary to know them, to have a better relationship, whether at work or at home. To finish I close with this wise phrase: What would become of us without them…!
Until next time!
