Introduction
One of the most important characteristics to achieve higher levels of knowledge is to develop the ability to be teachable, this implies opening up to new knowledge, unlocking all channels of rejection. Unfortunately in all of us there is the natural capacity to get bored when what we hear is MOTS. It is undeniable that hearing the same thing many times is just a waste of time.
Communication
It must be remembered that the communication process is two-way, which implies that there is a sender and a receiver, the teachable people are on both sides, but their role is well differentiated, so that when the teachable person is the sender he feels a deep respect for the people who listen to it and therefore tries to present the issues in a way that they can be understood in a different way, that is, although they are the same things, the approach is innovative and the way of presenting them is interesting and shows aspects that are not they are so obvious. It is not easy, but it is possible. When the teachable person is a recipient, she should listen as carefully as possible with a question permanently on her mind:What can i learn The changes that are generated when that question is in the mind means that every time you hear something you are facing a new experience because the blockers will be off. Questions usually arise such as: How does that look from another facet? How could I teach that? Who else could be interested? What alternatives can be considered? Could you make money from this? How would this be helpful for my children? Etc.
A fundamental commitment of a teachable person is not to be a MOTS generator and never be a MOTS recipient. The interesting thing about the previous commitment is that it does not depend on external factors, only on personal decision. Change implies a process in which progress is made, normally it is not something that is achieved from one day to the next, it requires discipline to break negative habits, replacing them with new ones.
Among the habits that must be left behind are: Not having a notebook to take notes. Don't take notes. Take notes that are not meaningful. Disqualify who is going to teach. Allow thoughts such as: Again? What time will this end? I already know that. I could teach that better.
Learning negotiation is something that requires the greatest possible open mind since in each of life's opportunities we are negotiating, sometimes with success and sometimes without it, but we are always negotiating something. Being aware of this and perhaps having achieved some successful negotiations often give the false belief that you are a good negotiator and that you are perhaps a master negotiator. An example of this is the following: "We were trying to buy a property next to one of our buildings, the appraisal had resulted in 130 million and had to haggle with the owner so that from his initial claim of 160 million had to haggle and now his position was at 135 and our bid at 125 so the middle of the two figures corresponded to our target,But since the business was slowing down, the boss took advantage of a trip to that city to visit the seller, the first thing he did was tell him that he was the boss and that he had the authority to close the business without depending on one committee or another. person and had gone to close the business. The boss's big mistake was in not having prepared properly, he should have at least reviewed the appraisal and the history of the negotiation, but his claim that he was a great negotiator prevented him from asking the necessary questions so that once he had established his high position, he asked how the negotiation was going, to which the salesman replied, I am at 200 and you are at 170, the boss then made some accounts, which were none other than to find the midpoint of the two positions and then offered: we give 185 and a weight more.The salesman haggled a bit but finally gave in and closed the deal at 185. Upon returning to the office the boss pronounced proudly, you don't know how to do the job and I closed the business and proceeded to deliver the documents, everyone accepted in silence. The boss lost everyone's respect since the story became a legend in the office, and today, more than 10 years after it happened, it continues to be commented from time to time. ”The interesting thing about the previous story is that every time you tell it the Interlocutor tells you a similar story, that is, it is not an isolated case but a way of proceeding of many people.all accepted in silence. The boss lost everyone's respect since the story became a legend in the office, and today, more than 10 years after it happened, it continues to be commented from time to time. ”The interesting thing about the previous story is that every time you tell it the Interlocutor tells you a similar story, that is, it is not an isolated case but a way of proceeding of many people.all accepted in silence. The boss lost everyone's respect since the story became a legend in the office, and today, more than 10 years after it happened, it continues to be commented from time to time. ”The interesting thing about the previous story is that every time you tell it the Interlocutor tells you a similar story, that is, it is not an isolated case but a way of proceeding of many people.
It would be necessary to ask: Is a good negotiator born or made? And the undeniable answer is that there are people who are born with some attributes to do business, but definitely if someone wants to become a good professional negotiator, they must study and prepare properly as a negotiator and a basic principle is that each negotiation and even each session of Negotiation must be carefully prepared so that all the information has been reviewed and analyzed, objectives and alternatives to those objectives must have been established and a strategy must have been prepared that leads to the achievement of those objectives.
This essay aims to help us understand the complexities of negotiation and develop the necessary knowledge to make each of the negotiations in our lives a rewarding experience that enriches our counterpart and us by achieving creative solutions that make the cake expand and that at the same time In the end, nothing is left on the table, and the most important thing is that relations have been strengthened and that the interests of both parties have been adequately satisfied.
Description
This document presents the different levels of negotiation starting with personal negotiation in which the negotiator tries to purge from his mind the secrets and pains originating in himself and in others that prevent him from thinking properly as well as feeling objectively in front of himself, the world around him and undeniably the negotiations in which he participates.
Once the work of cleansing yourself of everything that hurts you has been done then it is suggested that you reprogram your mind by memorizing principles and priorities.
Trading levels
By saying that we negotiate every day, it does not mean that all negotiations occur at the same level. Very few of us have been in front of negotiations such as the peace of a country, or the hostages in a diplomatic headquarters; However, the fact that our negotiations do not have a great resonance does not imply that they are not important, firstly for us and secondly for the people in our field; These negotiations can be the acquisition of a house or a vehicle, but also the purchase of clothes and even food. In this analysis we will try to show the negotiations from the most basic level that is constituted by personal negotiations, which we carry out with ourselves when making different decisions, then we will go to family negotiations,then to the commercial ones and then to the international ones where different cultures can be involved.
Personal negotiation
I believe that we must begin our analysis by personal negotiation, which we must do with ourselves when making each of our decisions. Is it easy to negotiate with ourselves? Is it easy to decide? Of course not. And why not? We can think that there is a great complexity of options that make the decision difficult, in fact no one can deny that there are more and more options, but the problem is more within each one of us where there are forces that fight for one or another decision. How do these forces come into being? How do we get those sometimes antagonistic forces to coexist? Which of those forces are we? The answers are not few or simple.
Functioning of the mind
To get closer to what happens, we are going to refer to Daniel Goleman, who studies mental mechanisms and the way they operate. In the first place, it is necessary to understand how the information is processed, for this the Donald Norman model will be used, see graph # 1.
Contrary to what is commonly believed, Norman's model suggests that sensory stimuli, which are those that allow us to communicate with the outside, do not directly reach consciousness but first pass through a filter. So there are stimuli that affect our senses of which we are not aware. "All this means that the contents of consciousness reach us preselected, classified and packaged, in a process that lasts a fraction of a second."
Long term memory
The process occurs in the following way: The senses capture information from outside, this information enters the warehouse where the filter confronts said information with the information stored in the long-term memory where the deposit of meanings and knowledge is located, so that You can qualify it by determining the usefulness and urgency of said information, then what is relevant for that particular person will pass to consciousness, the consciousness will then be able to act accordingly and store the event in the long-term memory, with this, this experience it will be part of the information that will filter future experiences. An implication of the above method is that the same experience can have different meanings to two different people,this is a problem when it comes to elucidating what is true since it is actually possible that both versions are true.
Automatic processes
Because the mind works in this way, some routine functions can be done automatically. “This arrangement prevents us from having to worry about the trifles of life. Thus, it is not necessary to anticipate the key that we will press, where we will put our foot in the next step we take, the pressure that we must exert to open the door or what will be the word that we will say next, since it is the unconscious that deals with all those details, leaving the conscience free so that it can dedicate itself to more important questions, such as what to write, where to go, what door to open or what nuance to underline. "
This implies that some of our actions are governed by consciousness and some others by the unconscious. In general, the unconscious is expected to be governed by consciousness, however researchers have observed that this is not always the case, the unconscious sometimes has its own agenda: “The unconscious executes what the conscious mind decides and wants, but it can also harbor your own intentions. " This situation leads us to modify the model proposed in graph one with graph two, where we observe the action of an unconscious response. See graph # 2.
At this point we must say that the subject of this analysis is negotiation and we were properly talking about negotiation with ourselves, in the previous pages we have concluded that our conscious and unconscious can generate different responses, which must be reconciled (negotiated).
Long term memory
Returning to the analysis, Goleman tells us: “Freud and Broadbent's answer - implicit in their respective models of the mind - is that we filter only what we need to see and to know only what we need to know. According to Neisser, however, it is not that we discard that information after having filtered it, but that we do not actually perceive it. " This implies that our unconscious decides only what it allows us to know and what not, that is, it acts as a censor.
Schemes
Of course, the selection is not done in a random way but is governed by an intelligence that according to the researchers is given by the mental schemes that we have, so that when faced with a stimulus, we open the scheme that best suits us and there we have everything. a set of information about the meaning of the stimulus and the way that stimulus affects us and how we should react. Some of these schemes have been built little by little with the help of the conscious and therefore, they accommodate what we want and we feel comfortable with them. However, it does not happen in all cases since desires and frustrations can modify the past in such a way that the memories we think we have are actually externalizations of our intimate desires. Goleman reflects on this:"The memory has been exposed to a double threat, because in addition to the original distortion, there is also the possibility of distorting its later memory."
Distortion
Distortion is therefore a reality that can generate positive effects since it generates defensive functions that help mitigate pain, which it basically does by reducing the painful sensation and reducing attention to said sensation. Pain mitigation is essential when faced with a greater threat so that attention to pain can jeopardize survival, which of course has the top priority. However, it is not only about survival it is also about avoiding annoying situations such as anxiety, Goleman tells us: "it is organized to avoid or reduce the anxiety - real or imagined - that usually accompanies unpleasant unforeseen experiences".
Blind spots
Defensive schemes end up generating blank spaces that prevent awareness of those events that seem threatening to us, those white spaces become gaps that generate blind spots. They are the opposite of mindfulness since by not paying attention to painful, anxiety-generating events you ultimately eliminate them.
In general it can be said that defensive systems are good and help us to live in peace with ourselves, which helps us to live in peace with our fellow men. However, by developing these schemes and allowing them to become blind spots, a particular situation is reached in which the blind spot comes to take on a life of its own, generating its own needs, distorting our attention and modifying our personality. In other words, we stop being ourselves to be a different person, especially different from what we ourselves believe and want to be.
Self-deception
Protection systems, and especially when blind spots have been created, lead to distorting the idea that each of us has of reality, becoming deluded by ourselves, through stratagems such as: denial and inversion, projection, isolation, rationalization, sublimation, selective inattention, automatism.
From the above, I hope it has become clear that our defense mechanisms make it possible to respond consciously or unconsciously and there is still the possibility of responses that have conscious and unconscious contents.
Part of humanity
This should help us to see the complexity of human beings and that just as within us there may be contradictory forces in the same way they can exist in the minds of those with whom we negotiate. This conviction should help us understand that regardless of what we represent, our company, or some collective or political interests, we are human beings with complex needs and that the people with whom we negotiate equally regardless of what they represent are complex human beings.
Professional Help
A point that we must necessarily highlight is the fact that it is possible that in some of our points of view we are deceived and that this deceit can come from ourselves, understanding that necessarily if we find ourselves deceived it will be very difficult for our positions and arguments at the negotiating table are consistent and convincing. It is possible that self-deception leads to psychological problems that require professional help, and of course if we suspect (it is very difficult to suspect) that we have these problems we must resort to the ideal help that can provide us with the way out.
Humility
When we sit at a negotiation table, we tend to consider that we are right and very strong and that it is precisely the other person who can become wrong and who needs to be persuaded to change, since that is not necessarily True, we must enter into a serious process of personal negotiation that leads us to reconcile our points of view so that we obtain solidity both in our concepts and in our argumentation.
Criterion unit
Of course, the key must be to have a single point of view and a single response, that is, the conscious and unconscious responses are the same. How do we do that? We must refer to graph # 2 where we can see that long-term memory is the common factor of both answers, therefore, we must work on our memory so that we can expunge the inadequate knowledge (memories), replacing them with adequate knowledge, this implies A two-phase process, in the first one what we will have to do is expunge the knowledge that brings us pain and that consequently can be generators of anxiety, which has the tendency to be denied and that will fall into the gaps known as blind spots. In the second phase, we must replace inadequate memories with correct knowledge.
Conflicts
The memories that bring pain into our lives basically have two origins, one internal and one external. These conflicts are usually kept secret by people so that they do not discuss them with anyone, which contributes to terrifying and hurting them.
Internal
The intern is related to events in which we have made mistakes with other people and perhaps we have hurt them, this may have happened on purpose or without him. Actually the important thing is that we know that we act incorrectly, there are many levels that our action could have. This is not the place for an in-depth analysis of each of the situations that may arise. For this analysis, it is enough to know that these actions in addition to having harmed other people at the time, continue to harm us, because guilt becomes manifest. Memories that refer to these situations are often hidden from consciousness and remain hurting for a long time.
Resolution
How do we resolve these conflicts? It is not an easy task but it is possible, and that is where we must begin the internal negotiation process since we must remember our actions and identify those that are hurting us, the recognition process is not easy, it requires decision and little by little go convincing our unconscious that it must let those memories surface so that we can process and finalize them. In general, it is not a question of amounts of wrong actions, sometimes it is only one or two, therefore they are more difficult to locate.
ID
Perhaps the most important part of the process is the identification and recognition of the actions, since if we manage to accept that we have made a mistake and we know with whom and when, then it will be possible to move forward with the next two steps, which are, talk to the person by telling them what we did, it seems that this is inconsequential but the truth is that it is a basic liberating experience. It doesn't really matter that much what the victim thinks or says, it could be understanding or it could be condemning. What liberates is not the result of the confession but the confession itself. It may seem illogical but once it has been confessed the chain of the secret has been broken and once the secret is broken we are on the way to free ourselves.
Restitution
The second action that we must take to be able to free ourselves is to try to leave things as they were before our action, sometimes it is possible and sometimes not, the important thing is that we do as much as possible.
Release
Once we have done the previous two steps we can begin to feel liberated from that guilt. Of course, if we do not want to experience a similar traumatic situation again, we must be careful not to take actions again that could hurt our fellow men.
External
External conflicting memories originate from the damage we have received from other people, sometimes these experiences remain present in our mind as resentment and others are forgotten within all that baggage of things that we store in our long-term memory but we hide from consciousness. We must know that it is inevitable that we hurt others and that others hurt us, painfully the people who have the greatest potential to hurt us and be hurt by us are the people who are closest to us who are the ones who are most dear to us.
Resentment
It seems that we have the idea that the more we remember and resent those painful situations, the more the person who hurt us will be punished. It is not true, the pain that we feel has no effect on the other person's life, we only hurt ourselves without any benefit.
Sorry
We must resolve those feelings with a genuine feeling of forgiveness for the offending person. This forgiveness must be unconditional and total, regardless of whether the offender has been punished or not. We are not betraying the victims nor are we betraying ourselves when we forgive. It is not about whether the offender deserves it or not, in fact it is not about the offender it is about us and we do not deserve to live eternally with a pain of something old. Viewed from another perspective, the offender only hurts us once, but we can make the pain last forever. We must make sure that the offense remains in the past and that we continue with our lives as happily as possible.
Internal negotiation
So far we have seen how it is required that we reach an internal negotiation to identify who we have offended and to accept that we must forgive those who have hurt us, we arrive at the last instance of personal negotiation and it is a reprogramming of our long-term memory of So that we try to replace the situations that we have decided to remove from our lives with other elements that in our opinion should be more positive. Basically it is about two activities, the first is the configuration of the principles and values that will govern our life from that moment on and the establishment of the priorities that will govern us.
Beginning
The principles are: “rules or norms that guide the action of a human being. These are general norms, the most universal, such as, for example: loving your neighbor, not lying, respecting life, etc. ”.
Each of us governs his life by a series of principles that have their origin in the family, nationality, the sports team, the schools he has attended, etc. It looks more or less like in figure 3:
The above is a standard model that applies in particular cases, since the factors influence each person in different ways, making the individual application unique. Each one of us is influenced in a different way by the factors and each one of them makes its contribution to the principles of the individual. Contribution that is taken both consciously and unconsciously and with different intensities. The fact is that throughout life we are shaping our principles. To the extent that the principles are applied in the life of each one, they become values, which shape the character of an individual, leading him to differentiate himself and to a certain extent to be predictable.
Negotiation
My invitation is that as part of our personal negotiation we leave the informality and clearly establish what are the principles with which we would like to live the rest of our lives. When doing it formally, there must be a written document where each and every one of these principles are clearly established.
Once you have this list, there should be at least 20 principles, you should make a brief statement of what this principle means and how you will live it. It can be something like:
HONESTY. I will be a reliable person who will have coherence between what he thinks, feels and does, I will always tell the truth. Therefore I will not do anything that I have to be ashamed of or have to hide.
The above is just an example, each person can make their definition as they understand each of the principles. The important thing is that each principle has its own definition that fully clarifies what is believed about it.
Memorization
Now that you have the definitions, you need to memorize the perfect word.
Priorities
The second action that needs to be determined is what our priorities are and the reasons why. For example:
My wife is very important to me, since together we make a great team, I love her, she loves me and together we have built a beautiful family, I am grateful for everything she has done for me and for my children, for that reason she is the person most important to me.
Each of the definitions of our priorities must be memorized and repeated every day.
Rescheduling
The reason for memorizing and repeating is that what we must do is reprogram our long-term memory in order to make our subconscious react in a different way to what it was doing. Memorizing each of the segments (principles and priorities) will generate a priority message that will cause the subconscious to process the information in a different way.
This is a personal work that should lead us to understand the complexity of the human being and when negotiating with other human beings to know that behind each proposal or position there is much more than meets the eye.
This stage of personal negotiation is a preparatory stage that should lead us to be a negotiator who understands himself better and therefore will have better tools to understand other people. There is no doubt that a negotiator who understands his counterparts will have a better chance of persuading them.
Again, we need to remember that we negotiate with people who represent the interests of others, but who always have personal expectations that must be met.
Basic expectations
Roger Fisher makes us a very important contribution in his book: Emotions in Negotiation where he tells us that there are five basic expectations that we must take into account: Appreciation, affiliation, autonomy, status and role.
Appreciation
There are undoubtedly differences in negotiation but no one wants their position or their arguments to be belittled. Each negotiator hopes that his position will be recognized as valid and respectable and that suggestions for him to change his position must take into account the worth of both his position and himself as a person.
Membership
It is clear to everyone that when sitting at a negotiating table they have different positions and for that reason it must be discussed, but each of the negotiators wants to be seen as an equal, it is possible that in the normal day one is a worker and the other He is an executive, but at the negotiating table both are at the same level, and it is hoped that together they will find an option that is valid for all, when instead of feeling like a colleague, they feel like a rival, they will behave as a rival and it will be very difficult to achieve a proper negotiation.
Autonomy
It is important that no one feels that they are trying to exceed their level of authority as this annoys and causes the person to react negatively. Nobody likes things imposed on him, even if they are apparently positive and beneficial for him, the mere fact that they are imposed generates a reaction of rejection. It is important that this way it seems to us that our proposal is generous and that it should be accepted, we give them the necessary time so that they understand it, evaluate it and are ready to accept it. A proposal presented as: This is what we will do. It is destined to be rejected. If the same proposal is presented: What would happen if we did it this way? The proposal presented in this way deserves to be considered and evaluated.
Status
Every negotiator wants, like we do, to be appreciated as a human being and to appreciate what he represents, since little or a lot has an importance that is manifested in the fact that the negotiation is considered. If we lower a person from her position, she will be forced to react negatively.
Role
What does the negotiator represent? What is your role? In the union negotiations, there have been breakdowns that have led to the strike only because the representatives of the company have made the workers feel that their position is minimal in the company, then the workers have decided to teach them a lesson that helps them understand That is not true, of course the causes that are adduced for the declaration of strike are other, pride will not allow them to accept that they are going on strike because they are not considered important.
Respecting basic expectations will allow us to make the people with whom we negotiate at least receptive to our arguments and may eventually be persuaded.
It is important that we realize that negotiation does not start when we sit down at the negotiating table and that it implies permanent work with ourselves.
STATES THE ME. Julio Decaro, makes us reflect on the different behaviors (states of the self) that can be assumed by human beings in negotiations.
Basically the behaviors are: Child, Adult and Parent.
The child is guided by tastes, emotions, physical sensations, is creative and can come up with irrational ideas.
The father, lets himself be guided by prejudices, his objective is to do what must be done.
The adult, tries to decide based on real data, seeks to do what is convenient.
Although most of us would like to always see ourselves and react in an adult way, the truth is that we fluctuate between different states at different times, even within the same conversation!
Negotiation
If this happens to us, it also happens to the person with whom we are negotiating, so it is required that we adequately know both the internal mechanisms that trigger our behavior and the results that they can cause in the other person. In the same way, it is necessary to know what to say and then decide from which perspective it is more appropriate to say it, but there is also the way in which the other person will respond, we can be speaking from the father's behavior to his father's behavior, but the as a child. Of course the result will be very different. We can see that the options are multiple. And that there is great complexity, the following graph shows us a bit what happens:
Negotiation
Keep in mind that the previous graph shows us only one person on each side of the negotiation, let's think a bit about the great complexity that occurs when the number of negotiators increases.
Subdivisions
Now that we have seen how complex this topic is, we must know that the three basic behaviors have subdivisions, Decaro explains that the father can take two variants: The critical father and the nurturing or protective father and the child can become: child free, submissive child and rebellious child. In the following graph we see that the interaction between these behaviors becomes a very complicated tangle, again I mention, in the graph we are only talking about two people, in a team of several negotiators you can have a tangle so interwoven that it can hinder the entire negotiation.
Negotiation
Contamination
The success of the negotiation is expected to be governed by the adult, but this adult can become contaminated by the parent and / or the child, with which the difficulty grows exponentially.
Negotiation
Keep in mind that so far we are only talking about the difficulties of the negotiators themselves, we have not yet tried to discuss the negotiation issues. Negotiations often fail because the negotiators stick only to their strong position and even a fair position, but by not taking into account the human needs of each of the negotiators, their reasons will be blurred until they lose all their merit.
Planning
The proverb: "Whoever fails to plan, plans to fail," becomes more true in the field of negotiation than in any other field.
A good negotiator must be a lifelong scholar and an effective planner.
Harvard model
Of course, the Harvard model is the model to be followed, but time must be spent planning each negotiation situation very well. Good planning should have considered all the options, alternatives, and turns the negotiation could take and should have planned responses, and arguments for each of them, so that very few situations can be new or take you by surprise.
Negotiation by principles
We will review the Harvard model that was developed by the team led by Roger Fisher. One of the most important lessons is that we negotiate based on principles, that is why in previous pages we talked about the need to keep principles in mind at all times.
One of the most interesting things about principled negotiation is that it eliminates positional struggles that generally have no basis and only lead to bog down negotiations and deteriorate relationships.
Upon reaching the negotiating table, the principles must have deepened so much in each one of us that our reactions are immediate and automatic, we must react correctly from the subconscious with the full assurance that if we did it from the conscious, our response would be the same. Getting to this point involves a very judicious personal work and great honesty.
Harvard negotiation
Fisher explains that there are seven elements that must be taken into account for a successful negotiation, we will comment on them briefly below since if you want to deepen on this topic, it is best to go to the source.
Interests
The most important advice is that we separate the problems from the people. Which implies that the person who is negotiating with us is not necessarily responsible or guilty of the bad situation that is being presented, we must see the other person as a colleague with whom we are working to solve the problem. We must have meditated and perhaps discussed with other people what is the problem we want to solve. Although it seems trivial, very often we are engaged in a negotiation and fiercely defend a position without being clear about the problem. Sometimes it may be necessary to seek the help of external consultants, a problem that occurs frequently is that the symptoms of the disease are confused with the disease itself.For example, someone with a headache may be sure that their problem is a headache, but perhaps their doctor will diagnose: heat stroke, high blood pressure, infection, or something else. Of course, if the problem is a headache, an analgesic will suffice, but if there is an infection, antibiotics may be required and if it were… you have to consult a doctor who makes the proper diagnosis and then can prescribe the correct medicine.but if there is an infection, antibiotics may be required and if it were… you have to consult a doctor who makes the proper diagnosis and can then prescribe the correct medicine.but if there is an infection, antibiotics may be required and if it were… you have to consult a doctor who makes the proper diagnosis and can then prescribe the correct medicine.
By identifying the correct problem, it will be possible to determine the way in which the problem manifests itself, it would be necessary to ask what other manifestations could occur. A basic question is to know how the problem originated, not to identify the culprit but to find the place and time on which to work to correct it. Once the problem has been clearly identified, how it originated, how it affects us and in what other way it could affect us, we will be ready to identify what corrections could be implemented, how they should be implemented and who should participate and in what form that participation should be; Would one action be required or would multiple actions be required? By knowing the problem well, we will realize that the solution has already been started.Adequate knowledge of the problem should lead us to know what we must request and to what extent we can give in a supported way, so that when making a request we would not be saying that it is what we consider best, but on the contrary we can support very Well why is that the request, and why doesn't something less serve us and also why we haven't asked for more.
In addition to the interests about the problem we are trying to solve, we must be clear about our personal interests and try to infer the personal interests of our counterpart. This will lead us to identify if what we are asking for is legitimate or if it is just a whim.
Proper identification of the problem leads us to eliminate positions, replacing them with well-supported arguments. Additionally, it allows us to determine the exchanges that we can do so that if there is something that we cannot get, what, if we can get it, is it useful?
The interests and the problem that generates them must be perfectly identified before we sit down to negotiate, if we are going to build our interests at the table it is possible that we will be lost and perhaps fiercely insisting on positions that do not benefit us at all.
Options
The temptation to combat is to think that there is only one way to solve the problem. When we think that there is only one way, we are truly confessing that we have not studied the situation thoroughly and that we have not allowed ourselves to be creative in finding options. The questions that should guide us are: How about…? What has not been thought or tried? Why not?
TIWINTZA. For many years there was a conflict between Ecuador and Peru over a portion of land called Tiwintza, which both countries considered as their own and as a great affront to national dignity if it were to be lost, from that perspective the only path that seemed possible was war, but despite many confrontations the problem remained, in fact increasingly difficult to solve because the deaths in combat did not allow it to give way. The solution that Fujimori and Mahuad finally gave him was very creative and shows how options can be generated. The territory remained within the borders of Peru, but Ecuador was the sovereign owner of an enclave of one square kilometer within the Peruvian territory. In this way both peoples maintained their dignity, the conflict ended and there is no air of triumphalism and defeat,but of construction and creativity.
A fact that should be highlighted is that this solution, in addition to being optimal for the problem that was being worked on, also preserved the dignity of the negotiators, so that the solution ends up being good for everyone. This is a good example to follow.
Alternatives
This is something that should be clear from the beginning. It is nothing other than knowing what we should or can do if there is no negotiation; in general, any solution that we accept has to improve this alternative. If it is not better, then it is better for us to break up and go to it. If the alternative has not been identified, we will not know how far we can yield or what is the limit to break. Consider a negotiator who breaks up negotiations and then evaluates that what they were offering him was better than what he has to live with.
Legitimacy
The support of our arguments and our requests must be based on solid facts, such as incontrovertible information, laws, regulations or technical criteria of qualified professionals. This implies that sufficient time must be spent identifying which are the criteria of legitimacy that help us to support our argument. Of course, this search has to be honest because if we find something that opposes or contradicts what we have to stop and make sure we have the correct argument. Trying to hide this information can be highly counterproductive since we could exhibit our criteria and then the counterpart exhibits the information that we hide and totally distorts our argument,This should not happen since, in addition to not leading to a good end to the negotiation, it entails a gateway to mistrust and deteriorates both the relationship and the collaborative climate that should exist at the table.
Commitment
It should be clear which path we will follow so that there are no surprises, this should be in writing in a formal way, likewise, the commitments that are reached must be respected, breaking the established commitments leads to mistrust and makes that the negotiating environment is not conducive to finding an optimal solution.
Communication
Throughout the negotiation we must show a clear willingness to communicate adequately, so that we understand the argumentation of our counterpart and ensuring that they understand exactly what we have tried to express, this implies the use of several techniques that include speaking at speed. that we can be better understood by the other party, the use of supporting graphs and figures that leave no room for doubt as to what we are expressing in our negotiations. Etc.
Working relationship
We do not do anything that offends the other person and we strive not to be offended with anything that is said, we value the other person as our partner in achieving a solution to the mutual problem that afflicts us and we make it clear that in the In the future we will negotiate with that person again since our work relationship exceeds the time of the negotiation, perhaps in reality we will never see it again, but it is easier to achieve lasting agreements when it is within a long-term relationship of trust.
Conclusions
Human beings are much more complex than we are willing to accept, but if we want to be successful negotiators we must resolve our internal conflicts and reprogram ourselves not only to be better negotiators but better human beings.
The perspective that we are negotiating with another equally complex human being and with needs at least as pressing as our own should lead us to always keep in mind the issues of the negotiation and the needs of ourselves and other negotiators.
Finally, the Harvard method must be used, to find the best options and the greatest creativity so that finally our solution leaves nothing on the table.
Rigorous, careful, and extensive preparation is undoubtedly one of the basic requirements for success.
Bibliography
- Arbinger, Institute, Leadership and Self Deception. ISBN-1-57675-174-0, Berrett - Koehler Pubishers, Inc. Christopher, Elizabeth, Smith, Larry, The Trading Game, ISBN-958-653-039-6, Legis 1992. Decaro, Julio, La Cara Human of Negotiation, ISBN -958-600-978-5 McGraw Hill, 2000. Eastman de la Cuesta, Ricardo, Interculturality and Negotiation. ISBN-978- + 58-8350-04-2, Sergio Arboleda University Fisher, Roger, Ury William and Patton, Bruce M. Yes, agree! ISBN -958-04-0383-X, Norma 1991. Fisher, Roger, Shapiro, Daniel, Emotions in Negotiation. ISBN-978-958-45-0387-9, Norma, 2007. Flint, Pinkas, Negotiation Integral. ISBN-9972-9654-0-6 Grijley, 2007. Font Barrot, Alfred, Negotiations, Between Cooperation and Conflict. ISBN 84-253-3180-3 Grijalbo, 1997.
