P alabras key: V to the owers leader, Dialogue, Prudence, personal integrity, mutual trust, Consciousness.
IN TRODUCTION
We must become aware of the importance and complexity of the verbal and face-to-face communication process, which is by nature the most complex. We have begun to raise awareness of their difficulties in very diverse spheres; as between: generations, spouses, parents and children, teachers and students, friends, superiors and subordinates,… etc. The same has happened in the company. Communication problems, along with planning problems, are the ones that make the achievement of organizational excellence the most difficult Blake and Mouton (1968). Several studies indicate that, apart from communicating - speaking, listening, reading and thinking (intrapersonal communication) - a manager does virtually nothing else. They prefer oral means, phone calls and meetings to documents. In two British studies, managers spent, on average,between 60% and 80% of their time to verbal communication Stewart and Burns (1954); in another study of five top American executives, this figure was 78% Mintzberg (1975). In the information-gathering habits of Presidents Roosevelt, Truman, and Eisenhower: “It is not general information that helps a president take a personal position; neither the press summaries, nor the surveys, nor the amalgamation of information. Rather, they are the loose “tangible details” that fit into your mind and illuminate the reverse of the issues at hand. To get ahead, you have to get to the greatest number of aspects of a fact, opinion, or rumor that relates to your interests and relationships as president.He has to become the director of his own central intelligence service ”Neustadt (1960). We see that interpersonal contacts, both with his subordinates and with his network, the manager appears as the nerve center of his entire organizational unit.
In essence, language is: "a system of signs with which man communicates to his fellow men what he thinks or feels"; sign is: "a thing that by its nature or agreement evokes in the understanding the idea of another". In the case of "verbal communication", the sign is the word and this is: "a sound or set of articulated sounds that express an idea"; This communication is carried out through words, which are signs that are materially consistent with sounds. Casares (1981). A first limitation of the language is the meaning of each word is not fixed, but depends on the context in which it is used. The context is decisive to understand the meaning that the issuer wants to convey, but the problem of interpretation also occurs with sentences. Words often have a “subjective charge”, that is,They are accompanied by feelings, ideas and memories, either at the sender or at the receiver. Its meaning depends on the issuers Blecua (1982). This requires the receiver to make an effort to understand the subjective burden that the sender places on each message; This load of words leads us to the observation that every message has a personal implication, the degree varies according to the character of the interlocutors and according to the state of their relationship. Transactional analysis has shown that the smallest sentence can evoke in the receiver a reaction that is disproportionate to the literal content of the sentence Thomas (1973). These observations lead to a key conclusion: the importance of “listening” to grasp the speaker's “frame of reference”.Its meaning depends on the issuers Blecua (1982). This requires the receiver to make an effort to understand the subjective burden that the sender places on each message; This load of words leads us to the observation that every message has a personal implication, the degree varies according to the character of the interlocutors and according to the state of their relationship. Transactional analysis has shown that the smallest sentence can evoke in the receiver a reaction that is disproportionate to the literal content of the sentence Thomas (1973). These observations lead to a key conclusion: the importance of “listening” to grasp the speaker's “frame of reference”.Its meaning depends on the issuers Blecua (1982). This requires the receiver to make an effort to understand the subjective burden that the sender places on each message; This load of words leads us to the observation that every message has a personal implication, the degree varies according to the character of the interlocutors and according to the state of their relationship. Transactional analysis has shown that the smallest sentence can evoke in the receiver a reaction that is disproportionate to the literal content of the sentence Thomas (1973). These observations lead to a key conclusion: the importance of “listening” to grasp the speaker's “frame of reference”.This load of words leads us to the observation that every message has a personal implication, the degree varies according to the character of the interlocutors and according to the state of their relationship. Transactional analysis has shown that the smallest sentence can evoke in the receiver a reaction that is disproportionate to the literal content of the sentence Thomas (1973). These observations lead to a key conclusion: the importance of “listening” to grasp the speaker's “frame of reference”.This load of words leads us to the observation that every message has a personal implication, the degree varies according to the character of the interlocutors and according to the state of their relationship. Transactional analysis has shown that the smallest sentence can evoke in the receiver a reaction that is disproportionate to the literal content of the sentence Thomas (1973). These observations lead to a key conclusion: the importance of “listening” to grasp the speaker's “frame of reference”.Transactional analysis has shown that the smallest sentence can evoke in the receiver a reaction that is disproportionate to the literal content of the sentence Thomas (1973). These observations lead to a key conclusion: the importance of “listening” to grasp the speaker's “frame of reference”.Transactional analysis has shown that the smallest sentence can evoke in the receiver a reaction that is disproportionate to the literal content of the sentence Thomas (1973). These observations lead to a key conclusion: the importance of “listening” to grasp the speaker's “frame of reference”.
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1 In v e s tigador and Coach in: Auto Leadership, Leadership, Teamwork and Strategic Management. Engineer, MBA. Experiences such as: Army Officer, Paratrooper, Director of the Commercial Engineering School, Manager, University Academician, Head of Professional Teams, Rapporteur, Advisor, Director of Finance Area and author of books: Roots and Lighthouses of the Leader, Directing is: Science and Art and Anthropological approach of the leader of the Spanish Academic Editorial. Germany. Collaborator: Mundo Coaching Magazine and Researcher Group: SEJ: 301: Andalusian SMEs: Management and Competitiveness. Univ. Of Seville.
In contrast to the observations that have been made, it is common for us to communicate guided by the following “assumptions”: That the other person perceives the situation, makes the same inferences and experiences the same feelings as us; That communication is independent of our previous feelings; That what is happening must have a logic from our point of view; and That the understanding of the situation by the other person should be based on our logic, rather than on their feelings Anthony and Gabarro (1978). Relating the above, Abarca (2010) points out: in a survey conducted with thirteen thousand people in: universities, military units, government agencies and hospitals, almost all of them thought that they communicated better than the rest of the organization; this indicates, in part,that people "do not feel responsible" for failures in communication, but believe that it is the fault of others.
One of the paths that research has followed is to compare the effects of two modes of communication: in one direction, in which the receiver cannot express his reaction to the message; and in two directions, in which the receiver can ask clarifying questions. Leavitt (1978) designed an experiment that allows comparing the effects of these two modes of communication: In one direction it is considerably faster than communication in two directions; In two directions it is more accurate than communication in one direction, that is, more people in the audience correctly reproduce the drawing that constitutes the message; Receptors feel more self-confident and make more correct judgments about whether or not they are correct in the two-way system; The sender feels psychologically attacked in the two-way system,because the receivers catch their mistakes and their forgetfulness and let them know; they make negative comments about the sender's ability, and if the receivers are trying hard and taking their work seriously, they get irritated with the sender and the sender with them; The two-way method is relatively noisy and messy - people interrupt the sender and receivers interrupt each other, while the slower subject stops the others. The one-way method, on the other hand, appears cleaner and more efficient to an outside observer, but the communication is less precise.The two-way method is relatively noisy and messy - people interrupt the sender and receivers interrupt each other, while the slower subject stops the others. The one-way method, on the other hand, appears cleaner and more efficient to an outside observer, but the communication is less precise.The two-way method is relatively noisy and messy - people interrupt the sender and receivers interrupt each other, while the slower subject stops the others. The one-way method, on the other hand, appears cleaner and more efficient to an outside observer, but the communication is less precise.
Communication is verbal and non-verbal behavior perceived by another. It is more than the exchange of words, since attitudes and behaviors carry a message and, therefore, it is synonymous with communication. There are a series of theoretical approaches that study human communication, among these is the systemic conception. This implies interdependence and mutual, reciprocal and circular causality between the parts of the system; in that the emitters are, at the same time, receivers and the receivers are also emitters; This way of solving the communication process is to point out the importance of communication in two directions, as a security measure so that the sender and the receiver confirm the correct understanding of the message. We conclude: so that there is communication, and not a mere transmission of information,the receiver must correctly understand the message produced by the sender. This scheme is suitable for our research and we will call it: dialogue. It is an ancient idea much appreciated by the Greek philosophers and practiced in many primitive societies, today however, it has been almost completely lost; although on some occasion, we have all experienced something of the dialogue, for example, in special conversations that seem to "have a life of their own", taking us in directions that we never imagined and without having planned them in advance Senge (1990).although on some occasion, we have all experienced something of the dialogue, for example, in special conversations that seem to "have a life of their own", taking us in directions that we never imagined and without having planned them in advance Senge (1990).although on some occasion, we have all experienced something of the dialogue, for example, in special conversations that seem to "have a life of their own", taking us in directions that we never imagined and without having planned them in advance Senge (1990).
Hi p ó thesis (Objective): to contrast and investigate that the personal values of the leader Fardella (2011), are the roots and beacons of light of interpersonal communication in two directions; without them there is no: dialogue. These values coincide with the four basic principles indicated by Issacs (1999), so that it occurs.
ISSACS AND FARDELLA
Iss acs (1999) defines dialogue as: “a vital experience of intra and interpersonal inquiry”, and points out four basic principles that must exist for it to occur:
There is always a process of revelation in ourselves and around us. “Authenticity (…) implies a gradual process of learning to tell the“ truth ”of what we are feeling and what we know”; The second principle - of participation - tells us that we are in the world and that it, in turn, is in us. “… The intelligence of our heart, the freshness of our perception and finally the deep sense of“ connection ”that we can have with others and with the world”; The principle of awarenessit has to do with considering the various voices within me. To be “self-conscious” we must be calm and idle, so we will realize the contradictions that exist between what we say and what we do; This happens because most of us live with a “fragmented idea of the world”, and the way it works; But the principle of coherence tells us that each thing is a whole.
F ardella (2011): Productive Orientation of the Leader (man), is the active and creative relationship for himself, his neighbor and nature. They allude to three dimensions Fardella (2014), which relate it in the spheres of:
Pe ns amment manifests itself in understanding the world through reason and truth;
S e n t i m i e n t or , expressed through love, the feeling of togetherness with men, t ork and nature;
And Action is manifested in productive work, that is, in the work done for: your own well-being, your neighbor and nature.
These three chaotic systems self-organize their personal values (Fardella, 2012):
- Intrapersonal instrumentals (beacons of light of your conscience): respect, honesty and responsibility, which leads to the ability to forgive and radiate joy (in the sphere of thought). Intrapersonal terms (roots of your heart): inner harmony, freedom, and wisdom, which leads to personal fulfillment and happiness (in the sphere of feeling). Interpersonal instruments: respect (prudence), responsibility (autonomy-self-control) and honesty (truth), guide their attitudes and behaviors.
These three systems make up a complete and total chaotic system: the leader.
ANA LISIS.
Without an issuer, there is nothing to discuss and no decision to make: "I move", proposes, initiates, leads, guides, requires, encourages and expresses; Without an opponent, no corrections can be made: "I object", correct, redirect, negotiate, and revise; Without a spectator, no one could see or compare different perspectives: “I witness”, studies, explores, postpones the decision, sees different perspectives and weighs; and without a follower, there could be no consensus or end: "I follow", agree, support, listen, generate consensus, complete and confirm.. These four "roles" must be included to develop a healthy conversation and each of the participants can adopt any of these in time Issacs (1999), is based on the theory developed by David Kantor: "model of the four roles", to explain the dynamics involved in the dialogue.
Revelation: authentically, tell the "truth" of what we feel and know Issacs (1999).
All face-to-face communication has, in addition to verbal language, a second component: the “feelings” that the sender experiences in the course of the communication process. When we communicate with another person, we always convey feelings to him (consciously or unconsciously). We express our attitude towards the subject of communication - the importance we attach to it -, our feelings towards the recipient of the message, our state of mind, our disposition, etc. It is very likely that these are reflected in the tone of voice, the look, and facial and body gestures, which can produce a distortion in communication Bennis (1961). We transmit the "affective" component through: the "tone of voice" is one of our main means of expression, however,we have less control over it than we think; the "look", there are frank looks (looking directly into the eyes) and kind, and looks loaded with mistrust or resentment. Ill-intentioned people generally avoid looking into your eyes. An American investigation (Exline) has confirmed this hypothesis and has experimentally demonstrated the importance of the gaze as a means of expressing our feelings. Its code is binary, it only expresses affection or rejection in a difficult situation, since indifference is assimilated to rejection; our "facial" and "body" gestures, an open smile says a lot, a tense face, the nervous movement of the hands and feet, or the way we sit complacently are many other messages that we are transmitting.Gestures are so important as a means of expression that a field of research called kinetics (Kinesics) has been developed, which deals with studying the language of gestures Nierenberg and Calero (1971).
Verbal language (explicit message) is through words or phrases. These frequently have a "subjective charge", that is, they are accompanied by feelings, ideas and memories, either in the sender or in the receiver. Hence the importance of listening to grasp the sender's "frame of reference". The non-verbal language (implicit message) is almost certain that you will hear with all precision the feelings expressed by the sender, therefore our communication problems do not arise from: that we communicate inadequately, but that we communicate too adequately Schutz (1958). What is transmitted with more precision is not what is said, but what is felt, this would not cause difficulties if we were always aware of our feelings. But, the generality does not know them.To clarify this phenomenon (which seriously affects our interpersonal communication), the concept of "personality levels" is useful. Rogers (1961) distinguishes three levels of: "experience", the feelings we experience at a given moment (in the sphere of thought: reflection); "Consciousness", the contents of our consciousness at a given moment (in the sphere of feeling: voice of conscience) and "communication", what we explicitly say to others (in the sphere of action with attitudes and behaviors). The expression (revelation)the contents of our consciousness at a given moment (in the sphere of feeling: voice of conscience) and "communication", what we say to others explicitly (in the sphere of action with attitudes and behaviors). The expression (revelation)the contents of our consciousness at a given moment (in the sphere of feeling: voice of conscience) and "communication", what we say to others explicitly (in the sphere of action with attitudes and behaviors). The expression (revelation)prudent, (it is that habit that sustains and perfects the human act); when telling the truth (honesty), of what we feel and know (sphere of thought). This, in turn, develops our ability to verbalize who we really are.
Leaders who captivate and inspire their people selectively show their weaknesses. By exposing a certain degree of vulnerability, they reveal that they have flaws, like everyone else, and that makes them more accessible. They reveal their qualities that differentiate them. They know how to capitalize on what makes them unique and exceptional. These two qualities were derived from the trait theory Goffe and Jones (2000). Be yourself, but with skill: authentic, which implies being honest, respectful and responsible first with yourself then with others. A leader draws a transcendent vision, shares and implements it with his people, transmits (reveals) and inspires it in a “personal” way; and the way of communicating it (verbal and non-verbal language) has an impact on the motivation of its people Kotter (1990). Communication and alignment work together.The objective is not only to explain or clarify something, but to create meaning: motivation Bennis (2001). But, for there to be good communication, mutual trust must exist, this gives rise to spontaneous communication and these two are the foundations of mutual support (collaboration). If the leader does not embody the in strumental personal values of: honesty, respect and responsibility, trust will not exist. This will not be achieved if it does not exist previously, Freedom (not attachment), root of responsibility and inner Harmony (peace), root of honesty. These are the terminal and instrumental personal values of the leader, which guide the inspirational motivational action Fardella (2013a).For there to be good communication, mutual trust must exist, this gives rise to spontaneous communication and these two are the foundations of mutual support (collaboration). If the leader does not embody the in strumental personal values of: honesty, respect and responsibility, trust will not exist. This will not be achieved if it does not exist previously, Freedom (not attachment), root of responsibility and inner Harmony (peace), root of honesty. These are the terminal and instrumental personal values of the leader, which guide the inspirational motivational action Fardella (2013a).For there to be good communication, mutual trust must exist, this gives rise to spontaneous communication and these two are the foundations of mutual support (collaboration). If the leader does not embody the in strumental personal values of: honesty, respect and responsibility, trust will not exist. This will not be achieved if it does not exist previously, Freedom (not attachment), root of responsibility and inner Harmony (peace), root of honesty. These are the terminal and instrumental personal values of the leader, which guide the inspirational motivational action Fardella (2013a).It will not be achieved if it does not exist previously, Freedom (not attachment), root of responsibility and Inner Harmony (peace), root of honesty. These are the terminal and instrumental personal values of the leader, which guide the inspirational motivational action Fardella (2013a).It will not be achieved if it does not exist previously, Freedom (not attachment), root of responsibility and Inner Harmony (peace), root of honesty. These are the terminal and instrumental personal values of the leader, which guide the inspirational motivational action Fardella (2013a).
Authenticity: reinforces credibility and interpersonal relationships Fardella (2015a, p. 32), also generates trust, which is only earned with truth, which is born from honesty and with it inner harmony , which implies inner peace, which security is derived: Faith. That arises from within the being, is a non-earthly spiritual trait Fardella (2013a). The main determinant of trust is integrity, which Bennis (2001) called “invariance”. Among the conditions that lead one individual to trust another are: integrity, consistency, discretion, fairness, loyalty and openness Butler (1991). Personal integrityit is consistency in a style of behavior consistent with an ethical and value framework capable of generating credibility and trust in those supervised. Respect, responsibility and honesty lead to radiate: trust, its root personal integrity Fardella (2012a, p. 167). Trustit is a "psychological state" and not a behavior. Trusting someone corresponds to a positive disposition regarding the intentions or behavior of another Mayer, Davis and Schoorman (1995). The values of the leader: honesty, respect and responsibility that she embodies, and reflects them in her attitudes, behaviors: in her way of communicating: she radiates trust, which is at the center of human relationships; it has "operational" and "strategic" potential in organizations and in their work teams. They cause effects on the strategy, structure, systems, processes, personnel policies and productivity of the organization Fardella (2012).
He will be completely honestwith oneself is the best effort that an individual can make, because complete honesty requires a continuous search for more information about the inner self (introspection) and desire for personal improvement Freud Fardella (2014). “Introspection (a genuine and real vision of ourselves, of how we really are) is achieved only with difficulty and sometimes even with real psychic pain. But it is the basis of growth. Therefore, self-assessment is a preparation for introspection, a preparation for the seeds of self-understanding that will gradually blossom into behavior change ”Brouwer (1964, p.156). The above relates to us: the honesty from which the truth is born with openness (transparency) in our verbal and non-verbal language of what we feel and know;thus we have the competence of personal integrity that is the foundation of mutual trust.
P articipation: Deep sense of connection, with others and the world, and with it freshness of perception Issacs (1999). It is, tuning of vibrational frequency with oneself and others (it is born from the spheres of feeling), thus we have acceptance and adaptation with others: respect.
Leaders who show empathy and adapt to the moods of others literally affect both their own brain chemistry and that of their followers Goleman and Boyatzis (2008). Individual minds, in a sense, merge into a single system. Leading effectively is more about “developing a genuine interest in people” and the talent for fostering positive emotions in those whose cooperation and support you require, than mastering: situations, or even social skill sets. This tuning is literally physical. Followers of an effective leader experience rapport with him, or what we and our colleague Annie McKee call resonance. Much of this feeling is generated unconsciously,thanks to mirror neurons and spindle cell circuitry. Goleman, Boyatzis and Mckee, (2001). This is related to theRespect for yourself and your neighbor, is the ability to see a person as he is, to be aware of his unique individuality. Let him grow and develop himself (his talents), in his own way. He is a human being just like me, but different. Then I must know it and for this I must tune in (connection) Respect is only possible if I have achieved independence (autonomy), it exists on the basis of the freedom to observe (look) objectively without prejudice. Thus having the ability to grasp the context, the ability to weigh a series of factors ranging from the way in which different groups of people will interpret a gesture to the ability to put a situation in perspective. Without it, he is absolutely lost because they cannot establish contact (connection) with his followers (adaptation) Bennis and Thomas (2003). Acquire respect for the word, as a gift and the most precious inheritance of man. The manager must understand the meaning of the old definition of rhetoric as: "the art that attracts the hearts of men towards the love of true knowledge." Without the ability to create motives by means of the written or spoken word or the expressive number (explicit and implicit message), a manager cannot be successful Drucker. In the word (verbal and non-verbal language, which a leader emits, respect is implicit,responsibility and honesty with oneself and with others, also allows aligning (energy -charisma), towards transcendent ends Fardella (2013b).
The ability to experience empathyIt is based on the neurons that are directed and come from the amygdala and that allow us to interpret the emotion that is expressed in the face and voice of another person, and stay in tune with it. These circuits send out a continuous stream of messages - "The last comment seems to have bothered you a bit… Now it seems a bit boring… You liked hearing that" - to the prefrontal zone and associated regions that allow us to fine-tune what we will say in more detail or we will follow Eslinger (1998). By staying in tune with the reaction of our interlocutor, the amygdala and its associated circuits constitute a kind of regulatory station that is essential for the open circuits of the people involved to synchronize their emotions.One of the scientific terms used to refer to this neural attunement is: limbic resonance, a symphony of constant exchange and internal adaptation by means of which people keep pace with their emotional states. And this is something that happens whenever we establish a true connection with someone whom we feel “on our same emotional wavelength” (vibrational frequency tuning), whether it's having a good time or crying together Fardella (2014). Tuning is merging into the same frequency of vibrations with nature and then with others; This is what is called: twin photons, a quantum entanglement, bone, limbic bond. Our body is: vibration in the unified field (photons) that end up forming its molecules, when these agree with those of the universe, it is called: drag (or rhythmic relationship); feel your body connected with the sacredness of nature: it is communion with it and in accordance with the vibrations of the earth: circadian rhythm. Thus the leader is in inner harmonywith himself; then from the spheres of feeling, communion with the whole is born; it is openness, adaptability and neatness Fardella (2015c).
The lack of compassion (implies knowledge and identification) and lack of will to tune in (love your neighbor as yourself) with the request of another damage any type of relationship: intra or interpersonal. In communion (respect) we feel equal to all human beings, we are not superior or inferior to anything, in harmony with everything we feel what your neighbor feels and we communicate without the need for words. Attunement is key in personal relationships, without it there is no synchronization, or any connection with another being, it is to be in concordance or rhythmic relationship: drag. It is born from his heart: love. F main orce for any action and stronger base of any interpersonal relationship; the practice of a human power ,that it can only be done in freedom and never as a result of a compulsion; it is living and experiencing the limitless (non-attachment). When we are in all situations adaptable (flexible) with our neighbor is: acceptance Fardella (2015c).
Relating the above and the potential of respect: among the most important motivators in the work of Gerald Graham's study, he found that it was the stimulus of the congratulation that the boss personally gave his people for their good performance (direct recognition: face to face) Fardella (2013a). Employees prefer to receive relevant information from their immediate bosses Gelfand (1970); and connection, the human moment that has two prerequisites Hallowell (1999) points out, physical presence and emotional and intellectual attention. Being able to give these moments of humanity implies giving time and energy, sometimes five minutes of conversation can suffice. A compassionate responseThe leader has enormous power and signals to others in the organization that their efforts, even if they fail, will have an understanding response that encourages them to keep trying. People who have this competence: Know how to handle difficult people and tense situations with diplomacy and tact (respect-connection-adaptability); They detect potential conflicts, bring disagreements to light, and help defuse them. (Inner Harmony-attunement); They stimulate debate and discussion (respect, responsibility and honesty: dialogue); and they manage to put together win-win situations: everyone learns from everyone. Developing their skills: in the sphere of thought, feeling and action (attitudes and behaviors), which translate into: creativity and innovation. All of the above is: tuning, which has a leader:It begins with self-knowledge and understanding, Self-awareness; then empathy with his neighbor, compassion, unconditional welcome; and finally with the action of an attitude and behavior of union so that it grows, it is respect Fardella (2014).
The relationship of the leader's intra and interpersonal instrumental personal value: respect, implies: being courteous to treat with human delicacy, which would lead to prudence (cardinal virtue), temperance, moderation and discernment; In the exercise of this virtue, with time one reaches wisdom, prudent behavior in life Fardella (2007). It also has a direct relationship with the adaptability competence (connection) to clearly perceive the message (voice, gaze and facial and body gestures), that is, a look with tenderness; It also has a direct connection with "mutual acceptance", without it, we can hardly speak of communication in a deeper sense. This conclusion is supported by psychoanalytic therapy as well as by Frankl (1967) existential analysis.
T omar conscience consider the various voices within me. To be self-aware we must be calm and illegitimate, thus we will realize the contradictions that exist between what we say and what we do Issacs (1999).
The key to working from the inside out, the paradigm of primary greatness, is to educate and obey our conscience, that unique human gift that distinguishes congruence and disparity with the correct principles (values) and elevates us towards them. This (consciousness) manifests itself in an “efficient perception of reality” Fardella (2007). The failure to achieve full maturity and integration of the total personality is a moral failure, it is violating its integrity and destroying its spontaneity. If the conscience always spoke loudly and accurately enough, only a few would deviate from its moral goal. The voice of conscienceis: morality, however learning to understand its messages is very difficult, since we must be able to listen to ourselves. It is so difficult, because this art requires another faculty, rare in man: to be alone with oneself, we fear to face our conscience and we flee. Carelessness that one feels guilty about are not genuine moral problems. But if the genuine, albeit unconscious feeling of guilt became too intense to be silenced by superficial rationalizations, it will manifest itself in deeper and more intense anguish and even physical and mental illness. One of these is the fear of death, it is the result of the failure of not knowing how to live; With this irrational fear, the fear of aging is related, the decay of the personality in old age is a symptom:proof of the failure of not having lived productively. The fear of disapproval, although less dramatic than the irrational fear of death and old age, is a no less significant expression of the feeling of unconscious guilt. It would seem that the person can become insensitive to the voice of his conscience. But, there is a state of existence in which such an attempt fails and this is: the dream, “is usually the only occasion in which man cannot silence his conscience, but the tragedy is that when we perceive the voice of our consciousness in the dream we cannot act and when we are able to act we forget the knowledge acquired in our dream ”Fromm Fardella (2015b).it is a no less significant expression of the feeling of unconscious guilt. It would seem that the person can become insensitive to the voice of her conscience. But, there is a state of existence in which such an attempt fails and this is: the dream, “is usually the only occasion in which man cannot silence his conscience, but the tragedy is that when we perceive the voice of our consciousness in the dream we cannot act and when we are able to act we forget the knowledge acquired in our dream ”Fromm Fardella (2015b).it is a no less significant expression of the feeling of unconscious guilt. It would seem that the person can become insensitive to the voice of her conscience. But, there is a state of existence in which such an attempt fails and this is: the dream, “is usually the only occasion in which man cannot silence his conscience, but the tragedy is that when we perceive the voice of our consciousness in the dream we cannot act and when we are able to act we forget the knowledge acquired in our dream ”Fromm Fardella (2015b)."It is usually the only occasion in which man cannot silence his conscience, but the tragedy is that when we perceive the voice of our conscience in the dream we cannot act and when we are able to act we forget the knowledge acquired in our dream" Fromm Fardella (2015b)."It is usually the only occasion in which man cannot silence his conscience, but the tragedy is that when we perceive the voice of our conscience in the dream we cannot act and when we are able to act we forget the knowledge acquired in our dream" Fromm Fardella (2015b).
If we try to listenWe find it very difficult, because we are always projecting our opinions and ideas, our prejudices, our history, our inclinations or impulses (emotions: reaction of your body to your mind); when they dominate us, we hardly listen to what they tell us. One listens and therefore learns only in a state of attention, of silence, in which everything above is in suspension (a silent mind is better than a positive one), only then is it possible to communicate: to be responsible. Thus we experience an intra and interpersonal inquiry and we become aware of our consistencies or inconsistencies in what we say and do (explicit and implicit message). We all have feelings to a greater or lesser degree that we are not aware of. It means,that when these come into play, a disparity appears between the feelings that we are "experiencing" and what is present in our consciousness: incongruity. However, these feelings that we are experiencing are “filtered” through our tone of voice, look and facial and body gestures, in such a way that the receiver receives an: ambiguous message. We explicitly tell you something (verbal language), but implicitly (non-verbal language) we communicate the opposite. Whenever we communicate, “our whole personality” comes into play, which is very illustrative to analyze Luft's graphic scheme (1969):look and facial and body gestures, in such a way that the receiver receives an: ambiguous message. We explicitly tell you something (verbal language), but implicitly (non-verbal language) we communicate the opposite. Whenever we communicate, “our whole personality” comes into play, which is very illustrative to analyze Luft's graphic scheme (1969):look and facial and body gestures, in such a way that the receiver receives an: ambiguous message. We explicitly tell you something (verbal language), but implicitly (non-verbal language) we communicate the opposite. Whenever we communicate, “our whole personality” comes into play, which is very illustrative to analyze Luft's graphic scheme (1969):
Spontaneous action area. It is of maximum congruence, in it experience, awareness and communication coincide. The subject is aware of the feelings she experiences and expresses them explicitly in her verbal message. It's all himpsychologically "present" in the communication process (its authenticity), even if the feelings it expresses are negative. The "spontaneity" (prudence), psychological expression of authenticity makes us feel particularly comfortable in front of the people who express it. As long as you are in a state of intense presence (aware), you are free from thought (silence); he is still (calm) and yet very alert. The instant your awareness falls below a certain level, thought rushes to appear; the mental noise returns; the stillness is lost, you, go back to time Fardella (2015a, p.161). Consciousness and thought are not synonymous, thought needs consciousness to exist, but consciousness does not need thought to exist. "The thought alone,when it is not connected with the conscience it quickly becomes sterile, senseless, destructive “Fardella (2015a, p.131). Zoneblind. It lacks the congruence between consciousness and experience; It is occupied by feelings that are visible to others (through the tone of voice, the look and the gestures) but that the subject ignores. The presence of this area is the main source of our communication problems with others, since it causes the subject to emit, in addition to the explicit message, an affective message of which he is not aware (but that his interlocutor does receive and respond to it). The action of this area allows us to conclude: communication problems do not arise from communicating inadequately, but from communicating too adequately. Area hidden. In it, there is a lack of congruence between consciousness and communication. The hidden subjectconsciously something to your interlocutor. This can be due to various reasons, from justified reserve or respect for others to hypocrisy. In any case, the congruence between experience and consciousness is maintained, that is, the subject realizes his feelings, but does not let them show through. Zona unknown. It is the zone of total incongruity. This area is unknown, both for the subject and for others. Its content is only accessible through special psychological procedures, such as psychoanalysis and projective tests.
All of the above highlights that our way of communicating and, consequently, our communication problems, are closely linked to the very structure of our personality. When the subject's blind zone is very wide or, what is the same, when the subject does not accept a wide field of his feelings, his communication will tend to be: ambiguous. You will be transmitting two different and incongruous messages, without having knowledge of it and, consequently, without being able to introduce corrections in your communication. We conclude that communication is much more than an information process, but it is also basically an "interpersonal process". We really communicate when we tune into the same vibrational frequency with another: when both are "present" (aware, and mutually accepting).
" Defensive behaviorIt is the one that occurs when an individual perceives or anticipates a threat in the group. The individual who behaves defensively, while also paying some attention to the common task, devotes an appreciable percentage of his energies to defending himself. In addition to talking about the subject, think about the impression you make on others, how you can produce a more favorable impression, how you can overcome, impress or escape punishment and / or how you can avoid or mitigate the attack that you perceive or anticipate. These inner feelings or outer acts tend to create analogous "defensive postures" in others, and, if left unchecked, the subsequent circular reaction becomes progressively destructive. Defensive behavior, in short, engenders a defensive hearing and this, in turn,it produces postures and facial and verbal reactions that raise the level of defense of the initial communicator ”Gibb (1961). How this reaction arises Rogers (1952) points out, with special emphasis, the influence of the tendency, so natural, to “judge”, to evaluate, to approve (or disapprove) of what our interlocutor says. To verify the frequency with which this trend occurs and its effects on communication, just observe any dialogue. There are two elements in common: before the value judgment made by the issuer, it is only possible to react with another value judgment by the receiver. Every value judgment elicits a response of approval or disapproval, another reaction is unlikely; the second element in common, the issuer,By formulating the value judgment without paying attention to what the receiver might think and feel, he implicitly shows a lack of consideration towards him (attunement). Thus, defensiveness arises and communication is cut off, both are expressed from different “frames of reference”. Whenever the interlocutors are exchanging information on issues in which both are engaged, unless they avoid value judgments, defensiveness will emerge; Every pattern of behavior that generates it has in common the lack of: consideration for the feelings and frame of reference of the receiver. The solution to this difficulty is in:Whenever the interlocutors are exchanging information on issues in which both are engaged, unless they avoid value judgments, defensiveness will emerge; Every pattern of behavior that generates it has in common the lack of: consideration for the feelings and frame of reference of the receiver. The solution to this difficulty is in:Whenever the interlocutors are exchanging information on issues in which both are engaged, unless they avoid value judgments, defensiveness will emerge; Every pattern of behavior that generates it has in common the lack of: consideration for the feelings and frame of reference of the receiver. The solution to this difficulty is in:listen, but we can hardly do it since our conscience is normally full of thoughts and prejudices; then that gap of silence between thoughts is very small. Only in this space are we conscious (silent mind): it is a state of total presence, so we can listen, it is more than hearing, it is accepting the other person as they are (with virtues and defects) even if we do not agree with them. Here it occurs in us: respect, responsibility and honesty with that being who is different in his way of life, but like me as a person, these personal values have a direct relationship with adaptability, openness and neatness (prudence).
Generally we are not aware: responsible in communication; nor careful in what we express to others, it does not exist: neatness (patience, concentration and discipline). Responsibility is not a duty imposed on one from outside, but my response to something that "I feel" that concerns me. Responsibility and response have the same root, being responsible means being willing to respond. Feel as responsible for your peers as for yourself, this instrumental value is intra and interpersonal, (…), it allows you autonomy, self-control, and freedom Fardella (2012a, p. 202). the freedom, intrapersonal terminal personal value of the leader, implies: no attachment (people-goods-body); But, it also has a direct relationship with the sphere of thought in the sense of no mind: consciousness without thoughts (silent mind), which implies full attention presence (spontaneous zone: congruence between experience, consciousness and communication), with this the inner harmony: stillness. Thus, in a state of stillness and silence, I feel the dissonances or congruence between my verbal and non-verbal language; I am aware.
Coherence: harmony between what you say and do. This does not happen because most of us live with a fragmented idea of the world, and the way it works. This principle tells us that each thing is a whole Issacs (1999). The disharmony of man's existence generates needs that far transcend the needs derived from their animal origin. These produce an imperative tendency to restore a state of balance and unity between it and nature. He makes the attempt, first of all, with his thought, building a totally inclusive mental picture of the world that serves as a frame of reference, from which he can derive an answer to the problem of: where he is and what he should do. But they are not enough, if he were only an intelligence stripped of flesh and blood,he would achieve his goal by means of an extensive intellectual system. But, it is an entity endowed with body and mind, it has to react to the dichotomy of its existence not only thinking, but also with the process of living, its feelings and actions. You have to work for the experience of unity in all spheres of your existence in order to achieve a new balance. Hence, any satisfactory orientation system is not only integrated with intellectual elements, but also sentimental and sensory elements that can be carried out in action in: “all areas of human activity” Fardella (2014). Then without coherence (congruence) in the spheres of thought (experience), feelings (consciousness) and action (communication); which implies integrity in their dialogue:vital experience of intra and interpersonal inquiry to conclude in a communication: spontaneous. This principle means that there must be harmony and integrity in: revelation, participation and awareness in interpersonal communication: in two directions. The first step is to detect environmental and internal dissonances if they exist, and this requires inner harmony; thoughtless consciousness (no-mind) is only possible with freedom (no attachment). To bring them to light and deactivate them, requires objectivity and being fair, wisdom. With openness (honesty) adaptability (respect), neatness (responsibility), no one loses or wins, we all learn from everyone (collaboration), we are free of our own importance: humility. Thus, personal development is encouraged in all areas: personal, family,work and community Fardella (2015b); In addition, practicing them first with oneself then with others, the more quickly it will produce the contagion and radiation of creativity (and innovation) Fardella (2015a, p.129).
T he "productive activity" is characterized by a rhythmic change of activity and rest. Work (sphere of action), love (sphere of feeling) and productive thought are possible if the person can be: when necessary, calm and alone with himself (inner harmony). Being able to pay attention to yourself is a prerequisite for paying attention to others; feeling comfortable with oneself is the necessary condition for relating to others. Paying attention to others requires the ability to control our thoughts and achieve inner silence. It implies understanding that all people have the same right as us and deserve to be heard (Participation: respect). Put aside our judgments, temporarily (silent mind), and be able to listen carefully to the message.The above leads to relate that: respect is an act of love and dedication to others; having conscience without thoughts (not mind), that is, responsibility, allows us to concentrate and get in tune with the other Fardella, J. (2015b), to listen and understand their message. Some scientists point out that the leader model is the most critical factor in determining an ethical culture; They provide a natural source of "values" for their employees Lord & Brown (2001). Hood (2003), found a very strong influence of the leadership style of the boss in values and ethical practices of the organization. It is found that when the leader's attitudes and behaviors are in harmony (coherence) with his thoughts and feelings, they integrate moral and spiritual components,that have the potential to transform an organizational culture, towards transcendent ends Fardella (2015b).
Serotonin is a neurotransmitter in the brain. Its presence in high amounts indicates a level of calm. The higher the serotonin level, the greater one's peace. Notes Valerie Hunt, writing about spiritual enlightenment in her book Infinite Mind: In my laboratory we discovered that when a person's energy field reached the highest, most complex vibrations, through imagination or meditation, that person had spiritual experiences regardless of their beliefs (p. 285). She is a scientist and a psychological researcher of human energy fields .. Think: when you are at peace and send out this silent serenity, you influence everyone around you. The invisible energy particles are called pheromones that are emitted in moments of fear and their opposite: love Fardella, J. (2016). Joy, serenity and love, expand our capacity for: thinking, action, holistic analysis and observing interrelations: seeing the whole. They allow us to strengthen interpersonal bonds and help us to be more creative Fredrickson (2003). Laughter and timely jokes stimulate creativity, open lines of communication, and consolidate a sense of connection and trust, then turn work into something more enjoyable Clouse and Spurgeon (1995). But, anxiety (without inner harmony) not only erodes mental capacities,it also reduces empathy and consequently hampers their social skills Henriques and Davidson (1997).
The analytical and fragmented contemplation of reality with which we have lived for so long is, in Capra's view: "inadequate to deal with our overpopulated and interconnected world", we are experiencing a "crisis of perception." Chaos theory suggests a perception and associated conception of a one-piece, organic, seamless, fluid, and interconnected world: the whole. Through a study carried out with brain scans on people who practiced meditation, Newberg and Aquilli found: the areas of the brain that give the feeling of individuality are deactivated. This disconnection allows us to feel identified with a unified whole (infinite correlation) Fardella (2015a, p.165) and transcendent. Through the "prayer" or the "silence" of meditation one perceives a connection with the whole,a feeling of transcending our individuality. Several neuroscientific investigations carried out by Dr. Davidson on a Tibetan monk: he discovered that when the monk blanked his mind, he increased activity in the left frontal lobe. He found in previous research that that same area of the brain is activated when it is felt: happiness, enthusiasm and joy. Found that meditation (awareness without thoughts) brings well-being and happiness Fardella (2016).
This reveals the potential of the leader's terminal intrapersonal personal value, which he finds valuable and tries to live up to it: inner harmonythat embodies him, and leads him to a higher than normal development in the sphere of: feeling (conscious of his unconscious). It is characterized by an awareness that this place called earth is not his home, he feels and experiences that it is an infinite, unlimited, immortal, eternal universal energy that temporarily resides in a body. You are drawn to your inner world, you leave your fears behind and you begin to experience a kind of detachment from this physical plane. He becomes an observer (does not judge, does not analyze, does not interpret) of his world and passes to other dimensions of: consciousness. We only know a small part of the capacity of our brain, as if it were an iceberg, of which we can only see what is on the surface Ribeiro. the awarenessIt covers only 1% of what exists in our brain, the remaining 99% of our potential resides in the unconscious. The brain has two differentiated areas: the left hemisphere, acts on logical reasoning (thoughts), and the right hemisphere, which is more open to intuition and emotions, allows "access" to the unconscious (feelings). If we developed the right side, we would be able to come into contact with our unconscious. In turn, the individual unconscious is related to the collective unconscious (we are part of the whole), and access to it would confer on us a power that now seems impossible to us Fardella (2016).
It is concluded that if there is "inner harmony" in the spheres of thought (experience), feelings (consciousness) and action (communication), there is: coherence. Then, it is concluded that inner harmony implies coherence, and this in turn a spontaneous communication. “From humility, personal integrity competence emerges, which implies credibility and reliability: Fair” Fardella (2016): Consistency is also related to “personal integrity”: between what you say and do; since your total personality (in the three spheres it is a whole: not fragmented) is expressed in a spontaneous communication, which is carried out with: prudence. This is "self-regulation": managing unsettling feelings and impulses, these two primary skills are at the heart of five emotional skills:
“Self-Mastery”, effectively managing harmful emotions and impulses: They handle impulsive feelings and disturbing emotions well; They remain composed, positive, and unflappable even in difficult times; They think clearly and do not lose concentration when under pressure (inner harmony); "Reliability and Conscientiousness", maintain integrity and be responsible for personal performance. People with this attitude: Regarding Reliability: They act ethically and are above all reproach; They inspire confidence by being authentic (honesty); They admit their own mistakes and confront others with their unethical (responsible) acts; They defend positions that respond to their principles, even if they are not accepted (respect); and regarding E scrupulosity: They fulfill their commitments and promises;They take responsibility for meeting the objectives; They are organized and careful at work (neatness); "Innovation and Adaptability" are open to novel ideas and approaches (openness), and are flexible (adaptability) to react to changes. People with this attitude: Regarding Innovation: They look for new ideas (openness) from many different sources; They find original solutions to problems; They generate new ideas; They take fresh perspectives and accept risks; and in terms of Adaptability: They handle multiple demands, changing priorities and quick moves with ease; They adapt reactions and tactics to changing circumstances; They are flexible in their view of events. The act of innovation is both cognitive and emotional. Conceiving an idea is a cognitive act, but detecting its value,nurturing and carrying it out requires emotional skills such as: self-confidence, initiative, tenacity, and persuasion, related to practical intelligence Sternberg (1985).
It is found that: Self-Control and Personal Integrity (Self-awareness) are an integral part of prudence; Also scrupulousness, which is neatness; Innovation, openness and adaptability, these three are in the model of the five factors of the potential personality for leadership; The terminal intrapersonal personal values of the leader: Freedom and inner Harmony, are the bases of prudence (practical wisdom) Fardella (2014): It is concluded that: the "coherence" between the three spheres of thought, feeling and action lead to communication prudent spontaneous: dialogue. This is based on the values of: honesty (openness), respect (adaptability) and responsibility (neatness) with oneself and with others.
R e s u l ted.
Research in recent decades has highlighted the importance of assertiveness as an essential skill for effective interpersonal functioning. It distinguishes two areas within it: "opposition" includes the ability to say "no", to express disagreements, to make and receive criticism, to defend rights and to express negative feelings in general; and in "affections", it implies giving and receiving praise and expressing positive feelings (two-way communication). It is concluded that: an assertive behavior contemplates the description of feelings, thoughts, opinions and preferences directly to the other person (face to face), in an “honest” (authentic) and adequate (prudent) way, showing “respect” (connection) and "responsibility" (consent) both for the other and for oneself. This,behavior radiates and produces mutual trust, which allows spontaneous communication:dialogue, the result of which translates into mutual support: collaboration; This is the translation of trust and dialogue, in turn, the basis of both. These three conditions are linked to each other in a closed circuit, if one of them is missing, the circuit is undone Fardella (2012).
In relation to the leader's morale (conscience): it generates trust and empowers its followers, helping them to grow as people Ciulla (1995); consistency in communication has been emphasized (revelation-participation-awareness); behavior and perception of integrity (inner harmony) Simons (1999); They provide a natural source of values for their employees (honesty, their root inner harmony; respect, their root wisdom and responsibility, their root freedom); there is a very strong influence of the leadership style on the values and ethical practices of the organization. It is found that: when the leader's attitudes and behaviors are in harmony with her thoughts and feelings, they integrate moral components, which have the potential to transform an organizational culture Fardella (2015b), this change is born from a dialogue,.and when it occurs in the terms investigated they are creative and productive.
Teams are more creative and productive when they achieve high levels of participation (respect), cooperation and collaboration (spontaneous communication) among their members. Interaction behaviors of this nature require three conditions: trust, identity and group efficacy Druskat & Wolf (2001). This requires the leader to establish: a climate of trust, which without respect, honesty and responsibility does not exist (Fardella, 2013a); knowing how to listen: attunement, the most direct communication possible between people -a brain-to-brain communication in which the intellect is limited to being a spectator- and establishes what we could call the limbic link (Fardella, 2013a); be able to persuade and compromise (personal integrity); inner harmony as a group (does not mean without conflict);and finally manage the conflict to make it an engine of change: learning. Stimulate diversity during dialogue and debate (development of multiple alternatives), and then manage the unit (share previously agreed goals) when the objectives have been decided, and the strategic direction of the organization towards transcendent ends (Fardella, 2013b). A lack of diversity in the composition of fundamental decision-making bodies makes it difficult to recognize changes in their environment and respond in appropriate and novel ways. Cameron, Kim & Whetten (1987). We conclude that: for there to be a creative and productive team, there must be dialogue (respect-honesty and responsibility).Stimulate diversity during dialogue and debate (development of multiple alternatives), and then manage the unit (share previously agreed goals) when the objectives have been decided, and the strategic direction of the organization towards transcendent ends (Fardella, 2013b). A lack of diversity in the composition of fundamental decision-making bodies makes it difficult to recognize changes in their environment and respond in appropriate and novel ways. Cameron, Kim & Whetten (1987). We conclude that: for there to be a creative and productive team, there must be dialogue (respect-honesty and responsibility).Stimulate diversity during dialogue and debate (development of multiple alternatives), and then manage the unit (share previously agreed goals) when the objectives have been decided, and the strategic direction of the organization towards transcendent ends (Fardella, 2013b). A lack of diversity in the composition of fundamental decision-making bodies makes it difficult to recognize changes in their environment and respond in appropriate and novel ways. Cameron, Kim & Whetten (1987). We conclude that: for there to be a creative and productive team, there must be dialogue (respect-honesty and responsibility).A lack of diversity in the composition of fundamental decision-making bodies makes it difficult to recognize changes in their environment and respond in appropriate and novel ways. Cameron, Kim & Whetten (1987). We conclude that: for there to be a creative and productive team, there must be dialogue (respect-honesty and responsibility).A lack of diversity in the composition of fundamental decision-making bodies makes it difficult to recognize changes in their environment and respond in appropriate and novel ways. Cameron, Kim & Whetten (1987). We conclude that: for there to be a creative and productive team, there must be dialogue (respect-honesty and responsibility).
The key to helping people feel comfortable discussing (dialogue) the ways they are different is: “sharing” a commitment to focus on differences (just observing: they don't judge, they don't interpret, and they don't analyze), they help to coherence is generated. Personal integrity is a behavior consistent with an ethical and value framework, it has the ability to generate credibility and trust Goleman and Boyatzis (2008). If personal integrity is given, it means that there is inner harmony, but previously there must be freedom (not attachment), especially a silent mind: consciousness without thoughts. These two terminal intrapersonal personal values of the leader are the roots of dialogue, which is reflected in spontaneous communication with prudence (practical wisdom).
Prudence in spontaneous communication is the result of a process of intra and interpersonal inquiry in the spheres: from feeling, what to say and when is born; in the sphere of thought, he reasons how to say it; and action is expressed with authenticity, adaptability and neatness, this is: concentration, patience and discipline.
C O NC LUSION.
Personal integrity, which is a concordant behavior (coherence), in the spheres: of thought (guided by their intrapersonal instrumental values); of feeling (guided by their intrapersonal terminal values) and of action, attitudes and behaviors (guided by their interpersonal instrumental values). These three chaotic systems self-organize their terminal personal values: freedom, inner harmony and wisdom; and its values are instrumental personal of: honesty, respect and responsibility. Without these values there is no mutual trust or spontaneous communication: dialogue, and without it there would be no mutual support (collaboration).
This research indicates the congruence of the hypothesis: in the principle of "revelation", authenticity is implicit the value of honesty (openness) its root inner harmony; of "participation", deep sense of connection, the value of respect (adaptability) to others and nature, its root wisdom; of "becoming aware", self-aware (consciousness without thoughts), being responsible for our own actions (neatness: patience-discipline-concentration) its root freedom (not attachment); and coherence, congruence between experience, consciousness and communication, implies inner harmony. Without these values there is no: dialogue.
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